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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24832561">i never cared for stories, until you entered mine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethirdphiladelphiavireo/pseuds/thethirdphiladelphiavireo'>thethirdphiladelphiavireo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i never cared for stories, until you entered mine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and i do mean idiots, but lets just move on huh, idiots to lovers, listen i know i already wrote a catradora soulmate au, you know i already wrote a catradora soulmate au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 00:15:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,637</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24832561</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethirdphiladelphiavireo/pseuds/thethirdphiladelphiavireo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Holy shit.</p><p>Her hands barely made it up to her mouth in time to stifle a yelp.</p><p>The forum had loaded. And right there, the very first post, she saw it. She recognized it instantly. She’d been carrying it on her back for eighteen years now, after all.</p><p>..</p><p>Or, a Soulmate AU where Catra is afraid of opening up to people and Adora has no idea what's going on.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i never cared for stories, until you entered mine [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859374</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1980</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra didn’t even know why she was doing this. It wasn’t like she cared about soulmates or anything. She didn’t think much about her mark, at least not any more than she thought about, say, her fingerprints. She didn’t want to find her soulmate. The Universe or whatever had never been kind to her—it had stuck her in Shadow Weaver’s foster home, for God’s sake—so who’s to say what kind of person it would saddle her with?</p>
<p><em>What kind of person could deserve to get saddled with her? </em>The thought often came late at night, unbidden, when Catra was exhausted from a day of false bravado and forced nonchalance.</p>
<p>So Catra didn’t care about her soulmate. She didn’t want to care.</p>
<p>But Scorpia had begged and cajoled her, all wide eyes and dopey, love-sick grinning. She’d joined the forum just a couple of weeks ago and, somehow, by a stroke of luck, she’d found the one who shared her mark. Catra, though she’d never admit it, was happy for her—this “Perfuma” seemed just as sickeningly sweet and cheery as her friend did. But that didn’t mean she appreciated the puppy-dog eyes, the ‘Please, Catra’s, and all the other begging Scorpia had subjected her to over the past few days.</p>
<p>“I just want you to find them, Wildcat,” she’d said one evening as they sat together in their shared room. Catra was hunched over her desk, doing her best to block Scorpia’s words out. “I mean, it’d be nice to know who they were before we start college, right?”</p>
<p>Catra mulled over what she said for a couple of days. Sure, going to college was a big change, and sure, <em>theoretically</em>, if her soulmate was as amazing as Perfuma apparently was it would be nice to have someone to talk to when it happened. And this was an online forum, if her soulmate was a piece of shit, she’d never have to actually meet them. She could test the waters from a comfortable, safe distance.</p>
<p>Now that she’d actually made her account, though, everything felt a lot less safe.</p>
<p>She hadn’t posted a picture of her mark yet (she wasn’t sure if she ever would, to be honest), but just scrolling through the pages upon pages of photos of people’s marks, all captioned with disgustingly sappy titles—"Looking For My Other Half :)”, “Never Too Late For Love!”, “hope me and my soulmate think alike”—made her want to shut her laptop and find a corner to hide herself in. She didn’t understand how everyone could be so eager to find their soulmates. Weren’t they afraid? Afraid of their soulmates being a disappointment? Afraid of being a disappointment themselves? Even worse, this world was full of billions of people. How did anyone post on this forum when the crushing weight of radio silence hung over them?</p>
<p>Catra clicked onto the next page. She was greeted with a very personal photo from someone with their mark in a very private place. She hissed, her tail bristling with shock, and hurriedly closed the website.</p>
<p>That was enough. No need to go back. She’d scrolled for a solid… ten minutes? That was a good attempt.</p>
<p>The next day she casually mentioned her visit to the forum to Scorpia. Scorpia was sad she hadn’t found anything, but she seemed happy that Catra had tried at all and dropped the subject quickly.</p>
<p>That should’ve been the end of it. It was a stupid idea in the first place, a pipe dream, just something she’d done to get her friend off her back. Besides, Catra still didn’t want to find her soulmate.</p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>A couple days later, Catra found herself back on the forum, scrolling mindlessly through a sea of posts. Her eyes had glazed over about a half hour ago as she combed through the endless waves of colorful images and bared skin, looking for anything that matched what she saw when she craned her head to look at her back in the mirror. Hazy afternoon sunlight bathed her desk in golden light as she clicked through page after page. The only sounds in the room were the distant chirps of birds, the rumbling of cars on the street, and the intermittent sound of her keyboard.</p>
<p>No. No. No. Nothing.</p>
<p>Catra sighed and scrubbed her hand over her face. This was a dumb waste of time. She continued onto the next page.</p>
<p>Wrong color. Wrong shape. Wrong place. Next page.</p>
<p>Not even close. What was that supposed be?  Pretty, but not hers. Next p—</p>
<p>“Hey Catra! Guess what!”</p>
<p>Catra jumped and hissed at the sudden intrusion, shielding her laptop with her body. Scorpia, oblivious to her friend’s panic, set down her bag and started rummaging through it, looking for something or other. Catra quickly closed the tab and turned in her chair. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>Scorpia pulled out a crumpled letter written on pretty floral stationary. Her soulmate liked writing the old-fashioned way, Catra remembered. “Perfuma is going to BMU too! I can’t wait to meet her!”</p>
<p>Catra’s eyebrows rose. BMU—Bright Moon University—was where she and Scorpia had decided to go. It had good academic scholarships, a strong psychology program, and (most importantly) it was far away Shadow Weaver. It was a big university, so it wasn’t crazy that Perfuma was going there too. “Cool,” she remarked, relaxing in her chair. “Is she gonna be a freshman like us then?”</p>
<p>“No, she’s gonna be a sophomore,” Scorpia said, scratching the back of her neck with a large pincer. “I guess I meant to say she already goes there.”</p>
<p>Catra grinned, a teasing glint in her eye. “Oh, a cougar, huh? She’ll be able to show you a good time when we get there.”</p>
<p>“Perfuma’s not like that!” Scorpia sputtered, turning as red as her claws. “And we’ve both decided that we want to take things slow so we won’t be—at least, not when we just got there—and we hardly know each other yet—”</p>
<p>“Relax, I’m just kidding.” Catra turned back to her laptop, pretending to work on something. “That’s… really nice.” Her tone was more wistful than she would’ve liked, but thankfully Scorpia didn’t seem to notice.</p>
<p>That night, Catra lied wide awake, staring at the ceiling. Across the room, Scorpia was peacefully asleep, her breathing deep and even. Maybe she was dreaming of her soulmate.</p>
<p>Catra rolled over and huffed. Stupid Scorpia and stupid Perfuma. Just a couple of weeks ago, she’d been fine. She’d been great, even. She hadn’t been worried about all this love and soulmate business. Her gaze traveled over to her desk where her laptop lay shut. She sighed.</p>
<p>It was a one-in-a-billion chance. There was no way she would be lucky enough to find her soulmate. She didn’t deserve it, anyways—not like Scorpia did.</p>
<p>Just a couple minutes later and she was sitting cross-legged on her bed, laptop open and site loading. Her gaze flitted over to Scorpia. She could see from the laptop’s dim light that the other girl was still asleep, unaware of what her roommate was doing. Her gaze went back to her computer screen and—Shit.</p>
<p>Holy shit.</p>
<p>Her hands barely made it up to her mouth in time to stifle a yelp.</p>
<p>The forum had loaded. And right there, the very first post, she saw it. She recognized it instantly. She’d been carrying it on her back for eighteen years now, after all. She swore she could feel it burning as she drank in the image on the screen.</p>
<p>The mark was a sword—a light, steely blue blade and an ornate golden hilt set with a glittering stone. It was big enough to nearly span the length of the pale, muscular back in the photo. <em>Her soulmate’s back</em>. Her heart leapt into her throat. She was looking at her soulmate. She clicked on the post.</p>
<p><em>Hey</em>, the post began<em>. Not really sure what to say here but I’m looking for my soulmate! Obviously. I’m going to college soon and I figured this was as good a time as any to start looking! Anyways, good luck everyone with the search! Unless you’re my soulmate. If you are, congratulations to us, I guess?</em></p>
<p>Catra took a deep breath. She stole another look at the photo. Just to be sure.</p>
<p>Goddammit.</p>
<p>She clicked on the person’s username<em>. Grayskullshonor</em>. The hell kind of username was that? A little green circle indicated that the person was active right now. Fuck. Catra steeled her nerves, tail nervously curling and uncurling at her side<em>. You can do this.</em> She clicked on the messaging option. What would she say? How would she say it? She typed and back spaced a few times. She could feel herself sweating. Was it always this hot in June?</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: nice mark </em>
</p>
<p>Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. That was so creepy! Catra grimaced, pressing the heels of her palms to her eyes. She looked back at the screen hesitantly.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: thanks! grew it myself :P </em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Was that good? Catra couldn’t tell if that was good. She typed a response.</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: lol</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: we’re in the same boat</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: yeah?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: looking for the soulmate before going to college i mean</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: oh cool!</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: where are you going to school?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Catra hesitated. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. This was getting into not-quite-safe-distance territory, and she hadn’t even told this person who she was yet. Before she could make up her mind about what to say, she received another message.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: oh my god that sounds way creepier than i meant it to</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: you don’t have to answer that</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: ur good, don’t worry about it</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: im going to bmu </em>
</p>
<p>Catra chewed her lip. She knew she needed to tell this person the truth fast, before this got even weirder, but somehow, she couldn’t make herself. Old, familiar fear whirled in her stomach, tying it in knots as she stared at the green dot next to her soulmate’s name.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: really?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: me too!!!</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>No way.</p>
<p>No fucking way.</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: what’s your major?</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: psychology</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: u?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: kinesiology!</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Catra blinked.</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: what’s that? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: sounds nerdy</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: it’s basically the study of body movement! i want to go into sports medicine later</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: are you calling me a nerd? :(</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: maybe</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: sorry we can’t all be super cool psych majors &gt;:(</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: it’s cool to talk to another freshman though</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: maybe we could meet up once we move in? i don’t really know many people who are going there</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: no pressure though!</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Catra hesitated. She needed to come clean. That would be the smart thing to do. It would be weird. And awkward. And scary. But she had to.</p>
<p>…Well, who ever said Catra did the smart thing?</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: sure</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Applesauce02: the name’s catra by the way</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Grayskullshonor: awesome! i’m adora :) </em>
  </strong>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra was fucked. Like, really fucked.</p><p>She should’ve gone through with it. She should’ve told Adora the truth months ago. But here she was, just hours away from meeting her soulmate face to face for the first time, and Adora had no idea about who she was.</p><p>She’d thought it would be easier this way. She thought that it would be better to get to know Adora first, to make sure that she was, y’know, a normal person? Not a serial killer? Deep down, she’d figured that at some point during their conversations, Adora would say something wrong, something awful, something that would show Catra exactly why they were made (and maybe doomed) for each other. Something that would shatter that sweet façade. Then, she’d have her excuse. She could log off forever without guilt. That would be that.</p><p>It hadn’t happened yet.</p><p>Adora was… a lot. But she was a far cry from whatever Catra had been imagining all these years. She was full of contradictions Catra didn’t know how to reconcile. On one hand, she was a nerd studying… kinesiology. The kind of straight-A try hard Catra both hated and envied at the same time (Oh, Catra got good grades these days, but she wasn’t exactly anyone’s favorite student.) On the other, she was apparently a star soccer player and going to BMU on an athletic scholarship. On one hand, her messages were filled with emojis and sometimes overly formal, awkward in a way Catra would normally roll her eyes at. On the other, Catra found her grandma-style weirdly endearing. It suited her in a way it didn’t suit other people. On one hand, Adora was a total dork—a sucker for puns, “wholesome” memes, and a lot of other sickly-sweet shit Catra didn’t care for. On the other… Catra’s mind helpfully flashed the memory of that picture Adora had posted on the forum: an expanse of smooth, glowing skin lit in just the right way to highlight the firm, taught muscles of her back, her mark—<em>their </em>mark, <em>Catra’s</em> mark—proudly on display, front and center…</p><p>“Well, that’s the last of it!”</p><p>Catra jolted and steadied herself on the post of her newly lofted bed at the sound of Scorpia’s booming voice and the <em>thump</em> of a heavy cardboard box hitting the carpeted dorm floor. Catra watched, her tail twitching nervously, as Scorpia fished her phone out of her pocket and began to delicately type away.</p><p><em>Tap tap tap. Tap. Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap. </em>A pause. Scorpia smiled—it was the same lovestruck smile Catra had been dealing with all summer. When Scorpia and Perfuma weren’t writing each other love letters, they were texting, and when they weren’t texting, Scorpia was sighing despondently over whatever she was doing (reading, eating, etc.) It was disgusting, really.</p><p>“I’m going to Perfuma’s apartment,” Scorpia proclaimed, chest puffed out and voice giddy with excitement. “Sure you don’t want to come?”</p><p>Catra shook her head. “Nah, I’m good. I think seeing you two meet would actually make me sick.”</p><p>Scorpia didn’t seem like she’s heard anything past “Nah”. She was already on her way out the door. “Okay, have fun unpacking! See you later!” The door clicked shut a moment later, leaving Catra alone.</p><p>Catra nimbly catapulted herself onto her bed from the ladder, landing with an <em>oomph</em>. Truth be told, she’d already unpacked basically everything. Growing up, she didn’t exactly have a lot of personal possessions. There was always the risk that she was going to wake up and be moved to a new home, as had happened often in her young life before she’d finally come to live with Shadow Weaver. When that happened, she would be handed a trash bag and took whatever she could fit in it. The essentials. She didn’t have trinkets or mementos of any kind. She had her clothes and her school supplies. Shit like that. But that was about it.</p><p>Catra shifted and burrowed into her sheets, blinking in the warm afternoon light that was streaming through the cracked blinds of her dorm. <em>Her dorm</em>. Uncharacteristic glee bubbled in her stomach, working its way up and making itself known in a rare, genuine smile. She was here. She’d made it to college—something she hadn’t always been sure she’d manage. She’d made it someplace where she could relax, somewhere far away from Shadow Weaver.</p><p>Catra realized she was purring and kneading her bed. She stopped, sheepish, even though she was alone. Still, the bed was so warm, and the sheets smelled clean and fresh… she flipped onto her back and stretched as much as she could, humming in satisfaction at the feeling of her joints popping. She and Adora planned to get dinner at one of the dining halls in a couple hours. Until then, she didn’t need to worry. The soulmate situation was a problem for future Catra.</p><p>Catra’s phone buzzed across the room.</p><p>She was tempted to ignore it, but somewhere in her gut, she felt like whatever it was, it was important. Maybe Scorpia was lost and needed help or something. Catra swung her legs over the edge of the bed and dropped down, walked over to her desk and picked up her phone.</p><p>It was a text from Adora. Catra screamed a little internally. And maybe the tiniest bit externally.</p><p>They’d traded numbers weeks ago so they didn’t have to keep messaging through that dumb forum, but Catra didn’t know if she’d ever get used to the feeling of having her soulmate’s name appear on her lock screen. Plus, if Adora was texting her, that probably meant plans were changing, and if there was something Catra hated, it was when things didn’t go according to plan. Well, not quite. Scratch that. She herself liked to act spontaneously and do things as the opportunities presented themselves. But she hated it when other people did the same, changing course on her instead of her doing it to them. It made her feel off-kilter and vulnerable. Even the smallest changes sometimes felt like she’d had the entire rug pulled out from underneath her.</p><p>Catra put her phone back down. Maybe if she didn’t look at it the text would go away.</p><p>Okay. She knew she was being ridiculous. She picked the phone back up and unlocked it.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>hey catra! my friends and i got done unpacking earlier than we thought we would. we’re gonna go check out some of the welcome week activities on the lawn in front of the tower. want to come? :)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>No, Catra thought.</p><p><em>sure</em>, she typed. <em>where do you wanna meet?</em></p><p>That’s how Catra found herself walking down one of the campus’ sidewalks, ducking past parents and students hauling boxes and suitcases, doing her best to read the tiny map on her phone and find her way to the BMU’s “Tower”—the affectionate nickname for the tallest building at Bright Moon which served as its library. A bead of sweat dripped from her face. She brought her free hand up to wipe away the rest that was pooling on her forehead. Gross. Even in 90-degree weather, Catra insisted on wearing her leather jacket. She’d gotten it as a hand-me-down from a cooler, older kid at one of her old foster homes years ago. Back then, it had been so big on her scrawny tween frame that it kept slipping off her shoulders. Now, she’d grown into it nicely, and she practically lived in it. It might’ve been her oldest possession, come to think of it. Unfortunately, sentimental value did nothing to cool her off in the late August heat. She wrinkled her nose. Great. She was going to meet her soulmate for the first time as a nervous, sweaty mess.</p><p>Catra’s phone buzzed in her hand.</p><p>
  <em>i’m on the front steps now! wearing a white t-shirt and have blond hair in a ponytail :)</em>
</p><p>Catra gnawed on one of her claws. Right. She and Adora hadn’t ever seen each other. Not fully, at least. Again, the image of Adora’s naked back flashed in her mind. She shook the thought away, lashing her tail. Catra didn’t really have social media, so even though she and Adora had each other’s numbers, it wasn’t like she was following her on Instagram or something.</p><p>She tried to imagine what Adora looked like. It wasn’t the first time she’d tried, but she’d never had much success. She had spent some (too much) time thinking about the one singular picture of Adora she’d seen, but when she tried to picture her face, all she could come up with was a kind of soupy, foggy mess, a strange amalgamation of women she was familiar with. Scorpia’s nose, some celebrity’s hair, the eyes of that girl she’d sat next to in calculus, and so on and so forth… vague features swapped in her mind like she was playing one of those weird customizable character games from when she was a kid.</p><p>As Catra reached the top of a steep hill, a sprawling green lawn below crept into view. It was swarming with students. A variety of games smattered the area: frisbee, cornhole, horseshoe, and some other things Catra didn’t recognize. Past all the greenery lay the front steps of the Tower, also crowded with people. Catra was at too far a distance to make out any faces.</p><p>Catra shivered. She could feel her fur standing on end and her ears flattening against her head. She took a deep breath, in and out, and clenched her fists at her side. She could do this. She could do this.</p><p>Right?</p><p>Was it too late to cancel and just meet up with Adora at dinner? Or maybe never?</p><p>She felt herself growing even hotter under her jacket. She couldn’t tell if it was just the sun beating down on her back, or if she was imagining or what, but she could’ve sworn she felt the same kind of warmth emanating from her mark that she’d felt back in June when she’d first seen Adora’s picture.</p><p>Catra gulped. She kept her eyes glued to the ground as she forced herself to step forward, advancing down the hill towards the steps. For some reason, she couldn’t make herself look up as she neared her destination. Maybe it was like ripping off a band-aid all at once or something. Catra didn’t know.</p><p>All too soon, her foot hit the first step. Shit.</p><p>She looked up and was met with the sight of a mob of people milling around in the shade of the Tower’s shadow, loudly chatting. Catra scanned the crowd. No one with a white shirt and blond ponytail yet.</p><p>Catra walked up the steps, hands shoved in her pockets. Her tail swayed uneasily as she walked. Where was she? God, this was a horrible idea. What if Adora had gotten tired of waiting for her and left? What if she’d decided she already knew plenty of people here and didn’t need to meet Catra? Catra didn’t want to have to admit defeat and walk back to her empty dorm. All around her, people smiled and shouted, and Catra began to shrink in on herself, her bravado shaken by the fears bouncing around her head.</p><p>Somewhere ahead of her a muscular boy wearing a crop top shifted to the side, laughing at something or other, and Catra’s vision tunneled.</p><p>There.</p><p>She took another few steps. “Adora?”</p><p>“Catra?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra swallowed heavily. God, it was hot out. That was why her mouth was so dry right now. Right?</p>
<p>“It’s so cool to finally meet you! This is my friend Bow and my roommate Glimmer.”</p>
<p>Catra nodded absently at the two people Adora gestured to—the boy in the crop top and a short girl with purple hair. Her mouth opened and closed uselessly a few times before her brain kicked back into gear. “Uh, hi. Nice to meet you?”</p>
<p>“Nice to meet you too!” The boy—Bow—eagerly returned the greeting. He launched into some other enthusiastic comment but Catra wasn’t paying attention. She felt like her ears were plugged with water. All she could hear was her roaring pulse, and all she could feel was a strong, burning sensation running up and down her back.</p>
<p>Whatever she could’ve imagined Adora to look like, nothing would’ve compared to what she saw right now, sharp and clear, in front of her.</p>
<p>Adora was tall, for one. At least, several inches taller than Catra. She was wearing a big, toothy grin, open and earnest, and her greyish-blue eyes shone with sincere warmth. Her light hair, done up in a ponytail, ended just below where her broad shoulders began. Catra could all too well imagine what the strong muscle of those shoulders looked like beneath the white t-shirt that covered them. Her imagination again flitted back to that damn picture… No! She needed to concentrate! She dragged her gaze up from Adora’s shoulders to her face and realized her lips were moving. Shit.</p>
<p>“… figured we could do some of that and then pop into the dining hall for dinner. Sound good?”</p>
<p>Catra nodded. “Sure, sounds good.” She had no idea what she’d just agreed to.</p>
<p>What the fuck.</p>
<p>She needed to get a damn grip. She straightened her shoulders and balled her hands into fists inside her pockets. Adora was just a girl. A very pretty girl. A very pretty girl who was her soulmate. But that was it. She could play it cool.</p>
<p>Adora led the way down the concrete steps towards the green lawn. Glimmer, Bow, and Catra followed behind. Catra and Glimmer walked shoulder-to-shoulder, and Catra swore she could see the other girl watching her out of the corner of her eyes. She flushed, wondering if Glimmer had noticed her distraction, but stared resolutely ahead, ignoring her gaze.</p>
<p>“Horseshoe!” Adora’s hand shot out to grab the person closest to her—Bow. She bolted, dragging the boy behind her. “I love horseshoe!”</p>
<p>Catra blinked. She watched Adora bound across the green lawn, weaving through the crowd of students. She glanced at Glimmer. By silent agreement, they continued to walk at the same pace as before.</p>
<p>“So, Catra,” Glimmer began. “What’s your major?”</p>
<p>“Psychology.” Pause. “You?”</p>
<p>“Political Science.”</p>
<p>Silence. Catra swallowed. She stared at the grass ahead of her plodding feet with so much venom it was surprising it didn’t wilt in her wake. God, she hated small talk.</p>
<p>“I hear you met Adora online?”</p>
<p>Catra stiffened. “…Yep.” She lifted her eyes to meet Glimmer’s. “Got a problem with that—” she glanced at the chunky, glittery pink water bottle the girl was holding, “—Sparkles?”</p>
<p>Glimmer’s eyes narrowed. Catra returned the challenge, quirking an eyebrow at the girl as they pushed their way past a group of screaming freshmen. As they walked, the crowd gradually thinned until they were a good fifteen feet from the nearest people. The deafening noise subsided. Adora and Bow came into view ahead, playing a lonely game of horseshoe at the edge of the lawn.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a problem with it,” Glimmer stated, still glaring at Catra as the two walked. “I met Adora online too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh.” Glimmer’s face softened. She turned to look at her friends. She and Catra continued to walk for a few seconds before coming to a stop a few paces away from them.  “Her and Bow both, actually. There was this online game we all used to love when we were kids…” She smiled warmly. “That’s how we met. We’ve known each other for, God, almost ten years now?”</p>
<p>“Did you guys ever meet in person before coming here?”</p>
<p>Glimmer shook her head.</p>
<p>Catra couldn’t help but laugh. “Sounds like you were a dumb kid, Sparkles. Seems like you shared an awful lot of information with some total strangers.”</p>
<p>“I could say the same to you.” The glare was back, but it was accompanied by a teasing lilt to Glimmer’s voice. “I hear you met Adora on a soulmate search forum. Isn’t that a lot to share with a bunch of total strangers?”</p>
<p>Catra’s ears flattened against her head. “Well, it’s not like I posted anything!” she hissed, fists clenched at her sides. “I didn’t—” Her gaze darted to Adora and back again<em>. I didn’t need to.</em> She breathed deeply, taking a moment to collect herself. “I decided not to. It seemed like a dumb idea.”</p>
<p>The glare on Glimmer’s face was gone, replaced by a look of confusion. “Uh, okay. Fair enough, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Woo!” A shout from Adora drew Catra’s attention back to the game in front of her. Adora had struck a victory pose, arms outstretched over her head. The motion had pulled up the hem of her tight white t-shirt, revealing a sliver of Adora’s bare stomach—were those her abs? Catra flushed and pointedly looked away.</p>
<p>Stupid athletic scholarships.</p>
<p>“Good try, Arrow Boy,” she joked, focusing on Bow instead. “I thought from your name you’d have better aim.”</p>
<p>Bow shrugged and moved away from the stake in the ground that Adora had neatly ringed with her horseshoes. He came over and stood next to Glimmer, wiping his brow.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to go easy on him,” Glimmer said. “He’s too nerdy for sports. Spends too much time in the library.”</p>
<p>Catra grinned and looked him up and down. “Let me guess. Engineer?”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Bow’s voice cracked. “Archery is a sport, Glimmer! …Yes. Mechanical Engineer.”</p>
<p>“Who’s next?” The three of them looked over at Adora, who had gathered up all of Bow’s missed throws and was looking expectantly at the group. Glimmer and Catra looked at each other.</p>
<p>On one hand, Catra wasn’t sure if she was ready to go one-on-one with Adora without making a fool of herself (the strip of bare stomach, was gone, at least.) On the other, Catra loved the idea of wiping the smug smile off Adora’s face, and she didn’t want to be stuck making small talk with Arrow Boy on the sidelines. She weighed the two options in her mind. Glimmer opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Catra stepped forward. “As long as you’re ready to lose,” she said.</p>
<p>Adora beamed. Catra’s chest tightened. Maybe she’d made the wrong decision. She walked over to the stake Adora would aiming for and picked up her horseshoes. She weighed them in her hands. They were decently heavy and painted steel grey, but they were definitely more plastic than metal. She swung one back and forth a couple of times to try to get a feel for it.</p>
<p>“You can take the first throw!” Adora shouted from where the other stake was—about twenty feet away. She moved out of the way. Catra’s fur bristled. Cocky.</p>
<p>Catra took a deep breath and did a couple more mock-throws for good measure. She squinted at the target, swung her arm back, and released. The horseshoe sailed through the air and landed neatly on the ground just a few inches away from the stake. Dammit. She moved out of the way so Adora could take her turn.</p>
<p>Catra watched as Adora gracefully tossed her horseshoe across the grass, tongue stuck out in concentration. The horseshoe landed right on the stake, swinging around it a few times before falling to the ground. Adora whooped and punched the air.</p>
<p>The rest of the game went about the same way. Most of Catra’s throws were just shy of perfect, sometimes missing by inches—too far, not far enough, slightly to the right or to the left. Meanwhile, Adora landed. Every. Single. Throw. And every time her horseshoe effortlessly flew through the air to its target, she let out the same victorious shout. Every. Single. Time. It might’ve been cute if it wasn’t so annoying.</p>
<p> Catra’s ears twitched as she readied herself to make her final throw. It was tough to see—the sun had just begun to set, meaning it was perfectly level with her eyes—but she relied on the silhouette of the stake and on her own muscle memory to aim. She let her horseshoe fly.</p>
<p> It was a nervous, wobbly throw, but it got the job done. The horseshoe finally hooked the stake as it fell. Fucking finally. She would’ve died on the spot if she hadn’t at least beaten Arrow Boy’s record.</p>
<p>Catra walked off to the side, chest puffed out with primal pride. “Looks like you’re not the only one who can shoot around here, cowboy!” she shouted to Adora, playfully winking. The rush of finally landing a throw had done wonders to loosen her up.</p>
<p>Adora, who had just started to aim, faltered. Her eyes darted from the target to Catra. Catra smiled back.</p>
<p>Adora looked away again. Catra watched her movements carefully. She seemed uncharacteristically nervous. Her grip on the horseshoe was tighter and she did a few mock-throws, which she hadn’t before.</p>
<p>Finally, Adora threw.</p>
<p>Catra’s eyes widened. Wow, this one was way off course. High in the air and way too far to the left. Catra watched Adora’s obvious failure as it flew, up, up, up…. And down, down, down, coming closer and closer—Shit!</p>
<p>Catra tried to move out of the way, but the next thing she knew she was sprawled on the green grass, rubbing her head. The horseshoe lay dejectedly beside her and Bow and Glimmer were hovering above. She groaned. “Fuck.”</p>
<p>“Catra! Oh my god!” Catra winced at the volume of Adora’s voice. The girl had suddenly materialized at her side. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—are you okay? Does it hurt?”</p>
<p>“’s fine,” Catra gritted out, trying to keep Adora from freaking out more than she was. She brought her fingers up to her forehead. “Ouch,” she hissed. Just brushing them over her skin made pain shoot through her head. She looked up to see Bow, Glimmer, and Adora staring at each other, seemingly having a furious silent discussion. “Mind giving a girl some space?”</p>
<p>The three backed away, gazes still locked with one another. Catra sat up. “Yikes,” she muttered. “Didn’t love that.”</p>
<p>“How do you feel?” Glimmer asked. “Dizzy? Nauseous?”</p>
<p>Catra shook her head.</p>
<p>“Do you think you need to go get help?”</p>
<p>Catra shook her head again. “It’s probably fine. Those things aren’t too heavy. Some ice’ll probably do the trick.”</p>
<p>“Then you should come to our dorm,” Adora said. “It’s close to here, we can get you some ice there.”</p>
<p>Catra hesitated, chewing on her lip. On one hand, this was just a bump. She wasn’t a little kid; she could handle this on her own. On the other… She held back a groan as her head gave a particularly nasty throb. “Fine.” She scrambled to her feet quickly before anyone could offer her a hand up—too quickly. She stumbled and almost fell back on her ass.</p>
<p>Adora’s arms shot up to steady her. “You okay? Can you walk on your own?”</p>
<p>Catra’s ears flattened. “Yes, I can walk on my own, idiot!” she hissed. Adora dropped her arms like she’d been burned. Her gaze, wide and guilty, bored first in Catra’s face, then dropped to the ground at her feet. A pang shot through Catra, but she didn’t know what to say. She turned to Glimmer instead. “Lead the way.”</p>
<p>Ten minutes later, Catra was sat on the edge of someone’s bed (she didn’t know if it was Glimmer’s or Adora’s) digging her claws into a fluffy comforter with one hand while the other held a Ziploc bag full of ice to her forehead. She moved it away briefly so the others could take a look at the damage. “How bad is it?”</p>
<p>Glimmer squinted, rubbing her chin. “Not terrible?” She offered. “I mean, it’s pretty red, and you’re definitely going to have a bump. Can’t tell how big though.”</p>
<p>Catra hummed in acknowledgement. She adjusted her grip on the cold, slippery bag of ice—she’d only been holding it a couple of minutes and she already felt like she was going to get frostbite in her fingertips. “Great.”</p>
<p>Silence settled over the room. Adora was pressed into the farthest corner of the room, arms crossed over her chest. Bow and Glimmer stood side by side in front of Catra, again silently trading looks with each other. A lilac-colored clock counted the seconds on the wall.</p>
<p>Tick.</p>
<p>Tock.</p>
<p>Tick.</p>
<p>Tock.</p>
<p>Tick.</p>
<p>“I think I’m gonna grab some food from the dining hall!” Glimmer finally broke the silence. “You know what, I can bring us all some food back to share, how does that sound?” Glimmer smiled nervously, glancing at Catra. “I’ll get us some pizza,” she decided. “Bow, come help me carry it back, yeah?”</p>
<p>“Uh, sure?”</p>
<p>“Great! Okay, seeyouguysinabitbye!”</p>
<p>In a flash, Glimmer had pushed Bow out of the room, and it was just Catra and Adora. As the seconds ticked by, Catra mostly looked straight ahead at the wall, but her gaze couldn’t help but flicker intermittently to the girl curled up forlornly in the corner.</p>
<p>She sighed and frowned at the numbness in her hand. She traded the Ziploc bag to the other, flexing her frozen fingers. She saw Adora’s head perk up at the movement.</p>
<p>“Let me?”</p>
<p>Catra raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”</p>
<p>Adora crossed the room. She held out her hand to Catra, gesturing for the bag. “Let me,” she repeated, firmer.</p>
<p>Catra blinked. She placed the bag in Adora’s hand, who gently pressed it against her forehead. Catra’s breath hitched—out of pain, or something else, she couldn’t tell.</p>
<p>“I really am sorry,” Adora murmured, her furrowed brow casting a deep shadow over her face. “I’m such an idiot,” she continued, soft but harsh, more to herself than anything else.</p>
<p>“No, you’re not.” Catra sighed. She paused. “<em>I’m </em>sorry for calling you that.”</p>
<p>Adora was clearly unconvinced. She couldn’t seem to look at Catra. “I don’t know what happened.” Her free hand came up and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sometimes I just get so clumsy, you know?”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Catra said, ducking her head to make eye contact. “Shit happens. It was an accident. Plus, what kind of college kids would we be if we weren’t hurting ourselves?”</p>
<p>Adora cracked a smile, finally. Catra hadn’t even realized it was possible to miss a smile until she felt the rush of relief of seeing it back on Adora’s face.</p>
<p>Silence settled over the room again. Catra straightened back up, somewhat proud of herself—she’d never really been a feels-y person, but that wasn’t bad for maybe her first attempt at ever comforting someone in her life. Before her, Adora shifted, moving the ice from one hand to her other. The motion drew Catra’s attention back to Adora and—Wow. They were pretty close together. Like, really close together. Catra felt herself growing hot underneath her leather jacket again, her skin burning against the freezing cold touch of the ice.</p>
<p>Would a blush melt ice faster? Could ice make a blush go away? Catra had half a mind to google it, but she was bit busy trying to control her breathing. Be cool. Be cool. Adora was just a girl. A pretty girl. A pretty girl who was Catra’s soulmate—Fuck! Catra’s tail shot up straight, bristling in alarm. With everything going on, Catra had practically forgotten. Adora was her soulmate.</p>
<p>“Catra? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Adora drew the ice away, stepping back. Her eyebrows were knit in concern as her gaze swept Catra’s face. Something in Catra ached at her sudden absence. No! Bad!</p>
<p>“No,” Catra reassured her, “I just, uh, remembered something. Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>“…Okay.” Adora hesitantly returned to pressing the ice against Catra’s forehead. As the chill of the bag bloomed again on her skin, Catra could feel her heart hammering in her chest. She took her tail in her hands and played with it in her lap, casually trying to smooth its ruffled fur.</p>
<p>By the time Bow and Glimmer returned with plates laden with pizza, the ice in the bag had all melted.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ugh.</p><p>Catra had thought a lot about what college was going to be like. Maybe awful. Maybe great. Maybe it’d be the best four years of her life, maybe the worst. Maybe both.</p><p>What she hadn’t expected was for it to be so boring. It had been over a month since classes had started and Catra didn’t know what to do with herself.</p><p>Sure, she’d been to a few parties or whatever (Perfuma really knew her way around the college scene.) Sure, it was great to be out from under Shadow Weaver’s thumb.</p><p>But honestly? Most of the time, Catra felt like she was still in high school.</p><p>Catra pulled her headphones out her pocket and plugged them in, putting on some random playlist. She stood up from where she’d been leaning against a concrete wall and started walking, following the general flow of early-evening foot traffic. After her last class of the day, she was headed back to her dorm.</p><p>Class, dorm, sleep. Class, dorm, sleep. That was what most of her days looked like. It was absolutely mind-numbing. It didn’t help that most of her lectures dragged so much. The only class she was having fun in so far was the one she’d found out during the first week that she shared with Glimmer—a mandatory literature discussion class. They sat on opposite sides of the room and spent most of the time antagonizing each other. Or rather, Catra spent her time making faces at Glimmer and wryly debating her analysis while Glimmer desperately tried to conceal her simmering rage.</p><p> Catra was going to miss that class a lot.</p><p>So, college was boring. Even with her unwitting soulmate living about a fifteen-minute walk away.</p><p>After meeting Adora, Catra had decided she needed a bit more time. Time to think, time to get know Adora, time to ready herself for… whatever Adora’s reaction would be to finding out the truth.</p><p>(Disappointment.)</p><p>(Rejection.)</p><p>(Even worse, settling for Catra just because they were “destined,” whatever that meant. From the handful of parties Catra had gone to she’d learned Adora was rapidly becoming a minor celebrity around campus. A gorgeous, talented rookie who was quickly proving herself on the field? She could have pretty much anyone she wanted, soulmate or not. And in what batshit mirror world would she want Catra?)</p><p>Well. Catra wasn’t ready for any of that. She’d just gotten to BMU, everything about her life was changing; she needed to let the dust settle and see how things shook out before she did anything stupid.</p><p>It wasn’t helping that Adora, Bow, and, yes, even Glimmer, were shaping up to be some of the best friends she had on campus.</p><p>It complicated things, okay?</p><p>They were nice. Catra wasn’t used to nice from anyone other than Scorpia, and <em>Scorpia</em> had actually had the guts to tell her soulmate she’d found her, and now she was busy living her fairy tale romance with Perfuma—always hanging out at her apartment, always eating together, already talking about renting an apartment next year—so<em> Scorpia </em>didn’t have time to deal with Catra’s bitter bullshit these days, and if Catra didn’t want to spend the rest of the year basically alone she’d better not rock the boat with anyone else—</p><p>Catra took a deep breath. She focused on the tinny music coming from her cheap earbuds, the distant sound of conversation and shoes slapping on pavement. She drank in the smell of fresh bread coming from one of the restaurants that lined the wide walkway and the way the light of the setting sun hit her face.</p><p>Okay. She was happy for Scorpia. She and Perfuma made a cute couple, and even if Perfuma hadn’t really been keen on Catra’s caustic personality at first, she seemed to have warmed up to her eventually. It wasn’t like she was trying to push Catra out of Scorpia’s life or anything.</p><p>Catra kicked a stray piece of gravel, sending it scittering over the sidewalk ahead of her.</p><p>Still, was it crazy if she was a little scared about being left behind? Scorpia had been her constant for the last few years, was it so unreasonable to feel a little off balance when she wasn’t Scorpia’s first choice anymore?</p><p>Catra sighed and buried her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.</p><p>“Catra!”</p><p>Catra frowned. She could just barely hear the shout over the sound of her music. She plucked out an earbud and turned around.</p><p>There was Adora, bolting down the pavement towards her.</p><p>Catra blinked. She stood in place, waiting for her to catch up. Her tail curled uncomfortably at the confused looks the other students were shooting Adora as she neared. A few moments later she was at Catra’s side, grinning widely and slightly flushed. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey yourself,” Catra replied. “What, is your coach not making you run enough for practice?”</p><p>Adora laughed, head tilting back slightly—the movement called attention to the sharp edge of her jaw and the smooth lines of her neck. “I’d hardly call that a run. Besides, you can’t wear me out!”</p><p><em>I’ll bet. </em>Whoops. That was not a great thought to have. Catra cleared her throat. “Sorry we can’t all be star athletes,” she replied. “You’ll have deal with the rest of us slowing you down.”</p><p>Adora shrugged. “I think I’ll manage. Anyways, I just wanted to ask if you were coming to movie night?”</p><p>Catra paused. She had no idea what Adora was talking about—this is what she got for muting notifications on the “Best Friend Squad” group chat. Could you blame her? The other three liked to text well past midnight and Catra liked her sleep.</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, making a mental note to go and read all the texts she’d probably missed that had the details.</p><p>“Great! I was just about to go get some snacks for Glimmer and Bow first, do you want to tag along?”</p><p>“… Sure.”</p><p>“Awesome!”</p><p>The two started walking, Adora guiding Catra to wherever she was going—probably the convenience store that was close to the building where Bow, Glimmer, and Adora all lived. Adora kept up most of the conversation, talking about everything and nothing—her classes, her friends, her practices and upcoming games, etc. Catra listened attentively, her gaze flicking back and forth between where she was walking and Adora’s profile. She responded with non-committal hums and ‘wow’s, as flat and neutral as she could muster, pretending like she wasn’t unwillingly filing every mundane detail Adora was telling her away in her head. Maybe if she kept telling herself she wasn’t it’d be true.</p><p>“So, what’ve you been up to?”</p><p>It was a simple question, but Catra was still a little alarmed at the conversation suddenly being turned on her. She shrugged. “Same old, same old, I guess. Classes, homework, you know the drill. Not a lot going on.”</p><p>“Any plans for the weekend?”</p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>“You should come to my game!”</p><p>Catra jolted at Adora’s sudden volume.</p><p>The other girl winced and her step faltered, hand shooting up to the back of her neck. “I mean, if you want to—I just thought, if you’re not, you know, busy—it’d be cool if you… came…”</p><p>Catra didn’t want to go to a game. She didn’t want to have to wait in line for hours, hoping to get a good seat. She didn’t want to deal with the cramped seats and all the yelling and screaming. And she definitely didn’t want to deal with all of that just so she could, what? Pine uselessly from the stands? “Eh, sports aren’t really my thing. They’re kinda dumb if you ask me.”</p><p>Adora’s hopeful face fell. Catra stiffened. Way to go, dumbass.</p><p>“Fair enough,” Adora said, smiling (her eyes weren’t in it.) “Soccer’s not for everyo—”</p><p>“I didn’t say I wasn’t coming,” Catra said, even though she knew she’d regret it. “Just—don’t expect me to be waving around a foam finger or wearing a jersey or anything.”</p><p>Adora looked confused, but she brightened up anyways. “Oh! Cool! Glimmer and Bow are going too, you can sit with them if you like?”</p><p>“Don’t have anyone better to take.”</p><p>They’d reached the convenience store. The automatic doors opened and greeted them with a <em>whoosh</em> of stale, air-conditioned air.</p><p>Adora entered and pulled out her phone. Catra followed behind. She used Adora’s distraction as an opportunity to finally read the messages she’d missed on the group chat.</p><p>Apparently, since it was October, Glimmer had decided they needed to watch some classic horror movies. There had been a lot of back-and-forth about what movies they’d be watching exactly, and Catra got the sense it wasn’t quite settled. She stopped reading the texts at the point where Adora offered to pick up snacks after class. She’d gotten the gist of things.</p><p>The two of them walked up and down the aisles. Intermittently, Adora would stop to pull something off the shelves and place it in the basket. Most of it was junk—chips, candy, the like. Occasionally Adora would grab something a bit more mundane.</p><p>“Eggs? Is that your go-to movie snack?”</p><p>Adora shrugged, picking up a carton and opening it. “Just figured I’d get some groceries while we were here.” Apparently, they were good enough—into the basket they went.</p><p>Catra hummed in acknowledgement. “Well, if it’s not eggs, what is it?”</p><p>“What’s what?” The two of them rounded a corner, heading in the direction of the register.</p><p>“Your go-to movie snack.”</p><p>Adora looked at her blankly, like she couldn’t believe Catra of all people was asking her such a banal question, point-blank. Yeah, it was a little weird, but so what? She was a curious about the person the Universe apparently thought was perfect for her. Sue her.</p><p>After a long pause, Adora smiled and shrugged. “I don’t really eat a lot of snacks,” she said. “Got to get my protein in, you know?” She flexed an arm jokingly. Catra might’ve laughed at her if she wasn’t trying to hide the fact that she was suddenly choking on her own spit.</p><p>She allowed herself a few moments of recovery before responding. “Wow. Very brave of you.”</p><p>“How about you? What’s yours?”</p><p>Catra held up a finger. “One sec.” She turned and looked at the shelves behind her—they were back in the candy aisle. “Here.” She grabbed a bag of Sour Patch Kids and held them up. “These.”</p><p>Adora snorted. “Really? Sour Patch Kids? That’s your favorite?”</p><p>“Excuse me for having good taste.” Catra ripped open the bag and popped one into her mouth.</p><p>“Catra!” Adora’s eyes were wide. “What are you—what are you doing?” she stammered. “You can’t just—"</p><p>“What? I’m gonna pay for it.” Catra ate another. “Are you telling me you’ve never eaten anything when you’re grocery shopping?”</p><p>“No!”</p><p>“You’re missing out. Want one?” She held out a Sour Patch Kid. Adora reluctantly reached out and grabbed it, eyes darting from side to side like she was afraid someone would see. She chewed it furtively. Catra smirked. “See? Not so scary.”</p><p>A couple minutes later, the two of them paid and left. They shared the rest of Catra’s candy on the way to the dorm.</p><p>When they got to Adora’s room, Glimmer and Bow were already inside, sitting on Glimmer’s bed. Adora sat the paper bag full of snacks next to them and set about putting away the groceries she’d picked up.</p><p>“Alright,” Bow said. “Let’s get this movie night started! What are we watching?”</p><p>Adora and Glimmer glared at each other.</p><p>“I don’t know, Adora,” Glimmer ground out. “What are we watching?”</p><p>“Glimmer,” Adora replied, deadly serious. “The Weeping Princess trilogy is the peak of modern horror! We have to watch them!”</p><p>“They’re too scary!”</p><p>“You’re the one who wanted to do a horror marathon!”</p><p>“A<em> fun</em> horror marathon!”</p><p>“Scary is fun!”</p><p>The two of them crossed their arms. Neither showed any sign of backing down. Adora sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “How about we get a tiebreaker vote?”</p><p>Glimmer narrowed her eyes and smiled confidently. “Sure. Bow?”</p><p>Bow looked between his two friends—Adora, all steely determination, and Glimmer, smug and assured—and shook his head. “Nope. Nu-uh, not getting in the middle of this.”</p><p>“What?” Glimmer yelped. “Ugh. Fine. Catra?” Her tone was a lot less victorious and a lot more threatening as she turned to her.</p><p>Catra swallowed. She’d never seen any of the Weeping Princess movies, but if it meant getting to piss Glimmer off… She grinned widely, baring her fangs. “What, Sparkles? You chickenshit?”</p><p>Glimmer flushed with irritation—if looks could kill, Catra would be bleeding out in an alley somewhere. “You are the worst!”</p><p>Adora put her hands on her hips triumphantly. “Ha-hah! Weeping Princess it is!” She grabbed the remote and jumped onto her bed.</p><p>Bow opened up one of the bags of snacks and offered a chip to Glimmer, probably in hopes of cooling her off.</p><p>Catra stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, wondering if she should take Adora’s chair or Glimmer’s.</p><p>“Hey,” Adora called. Catra glanced up at her, raising an eyebrow. Adora patted the space next to her. “There’s room up here. I mean, if you want. Obviously, you don’t, you know, have to.”</p><p>Catra blinked. If the invitation was there…</p><p>She vaulted onto Adora’s bed, settling a respectful distance away. For her own sake.</p><p>…</p><p>Honestly, when she’d heard Glimmer talking about how scary these movies were, she’d thought that was just the other girl being a wimp.</p><p>That went straight out the window before the opening credits even rolled.</p><p>Catra stared in shock at the screen, horrified by what she saw taking place. Suspenseful music played in the background, making her fur stand up on end.</p><p>No, dammit! She was tough! She could handle whatever this movie threw at her!</p><p>On the other side of the room, Glimmer clutched at Bow’s shoulder. “Why did I agree to watch this?” she whimpered. Bow, also pretty clearly shaken, pulled her closer without reply.</p><p>Adora, for her part, looked more excited than scared. She leaned forward, smiling, her legs dangling off the edge of the bed.</p><p>“How are you not shitting yourself?” Glimmer hissed at her.</p><p>“I’ve seen this movie, like, a thousand times,” Adora waved her hand. “I’m used to it.”</p><p>Glimmer huffed and turned to Catra. “Do you see what you’ve done?”</p><p>Catra just chuckled back, not trusting herself to speak without squeaking like a five-year-old on helium.</p><p>“What? Nothing to say now? Chickenshit?” Through the fear in Glimmer’s voice came an undercurrent of triumph.</p><p>“Am not,” Catra spat, ears flattening. “I’m just… busy laughing at you two.”</p><p>“Right.”</p><p>The two jumped at a sudden yell that came from the TV. Glimmer buried her head in Bow’s shirt, groaning pitifully. Catra bared her claws reflexively, tail bristling behind her.</p><p>Catra managed to make it all the way through the first movie without screaming. She wasn’t going to give Sparkles the satisfaction. By the time the second movie rolled around, she’d gotten pretty used to the pattern the movie followed with its scares. They were over-the-top and gory in a way that shocked her at first, but that she pretty easily got accustomed to. In fact, by the end of the second movie, Catra almost felt herself dozing off. She looked at the time on the clock. Huh. Only 11:00. She must really be starting to get bored if she was yawning already.</p><p>The third movie was… different.</p><p>Where the first two were bombastic, the third was subtle. Where the first two were almost comically bloody, the third (so far) hardly had any gore, aside from a single handprint on the rough bark of a campsite—adjacent tree. Where the score of the first two had been epic and sweeping, full of blaring brass and booming percussion, there wasn’t much music at all in the third—just the occasional whine of an out-of-tune violin.</p><p>Something about the atmosphere tugged at the corners of Catra’s mind. Something about it, the way the drama built and built and kept on building when no sign of when it would snap—</p><p>Catra hated it. It put her more on edge than even the first one had. She gnawed on one her claws, eyes shooting around the room. How were the other three so calm?</p><p>Glimmer especially seemed to enjoy the break from the more overt horror. Within the first thirty minutes of the third movie, she was slumped against Bow’s shoulder, out like a light. Bow quickly followed, his head coming to rest on top of hers. Disgusting. Catra wasn’t sure she’d ever get used to how… touchy-feely those two were, and that was saying something—she lived with Scorpia.</p><p>But Catra didn’t have time to dwell on her disdain for their mushiness. She was a bit tense.</p><p>A sudden scream rang from the screen. Catra yelped loudly and curled in on herself, trembling. Dammit. She shut her eyes tightly and squeezed her arms, trying to get her racing heart under control…</p><p>A warm hand found her shoulder. Catra’s eyes shot open and searched wildly in the dark of the room. The movie was paused now. The glow of the still screen was the only light to be found. That, along with Catra’s cat-like vision, let her see Adora’s worried face as she turned to the side.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Adora whispered, probably trying not to wake Sparkles and Bow. “It’s okay.”</p><p>Catra took a deep, rattling breath. She could feel the familiar burn of unshed tears building. This was humiliating—needing to be comforted over a movie that had literally put the others to sleep. She pulled away from Adora’s touch and cleared her throat. “Why’d you pause it?”</p><p>Adora looked at her for a while without saying anything. “I guess I just figured since Bow and Glimmer were asleep…I thought we were done for the night.”</p><p>It was an obvious lie, but Catra appreciated the attempt to spare her ego. “Yeah.”</p><p>The two sat in silence for a few moments, Catra looking at the bed spread she’d balled in her hands and Adora looking at Catra.</p><p>“It’s a bit late for you to walk back alone,” Adora finally said. “Do you wanna stay the night?”</p><p>Catra hesitated, then nodded.</p><p>“Okay.” Adora jumped off her bed, grabbing a pillow and a blanket that she’d been using.</p><p>Catra frowned as the other girl sat on the floor. “What are you doing?”</p><p>Adora blinked up at her. “Taking the floor?”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because you’re a guest?”</p><p>Catra rolled her eyes. “Don’t give me that shit. I’m not kicking you out of your bed.”</p><p>“Tough.”</p><p>“Adora—” Catra paused, swung her legs over the edge of the bed and dropped down. “Listen, I…” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I think my pride has taken enough of a beating tonight. Can you just let me…?” She lightly kicked the edge of Adora’s blanket.</p><p>Adora narrowed her eyes. The concern was back, but Catra wasn’t backing down. She stared at the other girl expectantly, even as the lump in her throat began to build again. Finally, Adora put her hands in the air.</p><p>“Alright, if you’re sure.”</p><p>Catra settled on the floor as Adora climbed back into her bed. She pulled the blanket over herself and buried her face in the pillow. Above her, Adora finally switched the TV off, plunging the room into darkness.</p><p>Catra rolled onto her back and gazed at the ceiling, listening to the regular sound of seconds ticking by on the clock. As time passed, her damp eyes dried and her shallow breathing evened out. A few minutes later, the <em>tick, tocks</em> were joined by a gentle, rumbling snore—Adora must’ve fallen asleep. Catra’s eyelids grew heavy. Lulled by the ambient noise of the dark room, she quickly drifted off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra shivered violently, burrowing deeper into her leather jacket. Christ, it was only October and it was already this cold? Bright Moon’s weather sure took some getting used to coming from the Fright Zone.</p><p>Apparently BMU was currently in the grips of a cold snap. Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal—Catra loved a good excuse to turn up the thermostat in her room and spend the weekend huddled under blankets. Unfortunately, this weekend, she’d been dragged out of bed at what felt like the asscrack of dawn to go wait in line for seats to Adora’s soccer match. She huffed. Her breath turned misty in the freezing air, mingling with the steam of the hot coffee she was nursing.</p><p>In front of her, Glimmer was pouring out her glittery water bottle onto the sidewalk. She turned to Catra. “Gonna dump that coffee anytime soon?”</p><p>Catra flicked her tail dismissively. “We’ve still got some time, Sparkles.” She took a sip.</p><p>The three of them—Bow, Glimmer, and Catra—shuffled forward as the line in front of them advanced.</p><p>“Would it have killed you to put on some BMU clothes?”</p><p>“Oh, are you gonna lecture me about school spirit now? Sorry I don’t feel like dressing like an idiot.”</p><p>Glimmer threw up her hands. “We’re going to be sitting in the students’ section! If anything, you’ll look like an idiot for not wearing any!”</p><p>Catra shrugged and turned away, deciding she’d rather stare at the asphalt than the god-awful school merch Glimmer and Bow were wearing. Truth be told, she didn’t actually own any BMU clothes. Shit was expensive as hell. Plus, the color scheme was stupid—who the fuck had decided lavender and periwinkle were good “fightin’ colors”?</p><p>Whatever. Wimpy-looking uniforms or no, the BMU women’s soccer team still kicked enough ass to draw a crowd.</p><p>Catra took another sip of her coffee. They were getting close to the front of the line now.</p><p>“I’m starting to think you live in that jacket of yours,” Glimmer grumbled. “Do you even take that thing off to shower?”</p><p>Catra mocked a gasp, clutching her free hand to her chest dramatically. “Sparkles! If you wanted to see me undressed that badly, you could have just asked,” she purred.</p><p>“Ugh,” Glimmer groaned. “Why are you even coming to the game if you think all this is so stupid?”</p><p>“I—” Catra choked on whatever quippy response she was going to say, struck with the image of Adora’s sad expression when she’d first refused to come. She looked anywhere other than Glimmer’s face. “Didn’t have anything better to do,” she finished lamely.</p><p>She brought her coffee cup to her lips and threw it back, swallowing the lukewarm, bitter dregs of her drink. Once it was empty, she crumpled it in her hands, satisfied with the <em>crunch</em> of the rigid paper. She glanced back up to see Glimmer still looking at her, eyes narrowed. “What?” she hissed. “Am I not allowed to come to my own school’s games? I’m paying tuition too, Sparkles.”</p><p>Glimmer, still looking suspicious, shrugged unconvincingly. “Alright, I guess. I’m not your mom.” She turned to Bow. “Who are we playing today anyways?”</p><p>“Salineas U.”</p><p>“Yikes.”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“Why’s that so bad?” Catra asked.</p><p>“They’ve got this senior on their team,” Bow explained. “Mermista something-or-other. She’s one of the best in the league.”</p><p>“It’ll probably be a close match,” Glimmer said.</p><p>Catra hummed. She threw her crushed cup into a trash can on her right and pulled out her phone. She showed her digital ticket to a security guy and was waved through.</p><p>At least all their waiting meant they got a spot right by the field. They filed into the row of seats, Catra and Glimmer wordlessly placing Bow between them as a buffer. Catra settled into her rigid, plastic seat and checked the time on her phone. Great. They still had nearly an hour before the game proper began. Even more time she got to spend third-wheeling with Sparkles and Arrow Boy.</p><p>It wouldn’t have surprised Catra if those two were soulmates and just didn’t know it yet. They seemed made for each other, and they definitely had the gross affection down. But she couldn’t be sure. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she didn’t really know much about what soulmate relationships were supposed to look like in the first place.</p><p>The only real-life soulmate relationship she’d had much exposure to was Scorpia and Perfuma’s, and even that wasn’t much. She didn’t care to hang around when those two were being all… lovey-dovey, or whatever. Were all soulmates supposed to act like that?</p><p>None of the adults in her life had been with their soulmates, at least that she could remember. Shadow Weaver certainly hadn’t—Catra gagged a little at the thought of that bitch being in love with someone.</p><p>Shadow Weaver probably didn’t have a soulmate. Hopefully. For the world’s sake.</p><p>So maybe Catra understood soulmates in theory. But she didn’t quite understand them in practice. She frowned slightly as she watched Glimmer sling an arm around Bow’s shoulders out of the corner of her eye.</p><p>Bow turned to look at her. “Aw, does someone feel left out?”</p><p>“I do not,” she said, glaring at him. “I just—”</p><p>“No, I think she’s definitely feeling lonely,” Glimmer teased, narrowing her eyes playfully. “We can’t forget about her, Bow.”</p><p>“Best Friend Squad hug!” Bow put his free arm around Catra’s shoulder and pulled her, squirming and wriggling, fur bristling in alarm, close to his chest. For a few seconds, Glimmer held Bow, and Bow held Catra, until Catra finally wrenched herself free. She crossed her arms indignantly.</p><p>“I don’t know why I put up with you two,” she muttered.</p><p>“’Cause you liiiiike us,” Glimmer said.</p><p>Catra just rolled her eyes and turned away. Immediately, her gaze honed in on movement at the edge of the field—BMU was warming up. She caught sight of a familiar blond ponytail and her heart leapt into her throat.</p><p>Adora. She was surrounded by her teammates, but Catra couldn’t tell you what any of them looked like. Her focus was trained on Adora’s distant form, wondering if she was imagining things or if she really could make out the wide, familiar smile on the girl’s face.</p><p>Maybe coming to this game wasn’t such a waste of time after all. There was no way Adora would be able to pick her out in the droves of students that were piling in to watch the game. Catra was safe in the crowd—safe to observe at a distance, open and unguarded. It reminded her of the anonymity of her first interactions with Adora, chatting online through the protective barrier of a screen.</p><p>She’d be fine so long as Romeo and Juliet didn’t notice. Catra cast a quick glance in their direction—right now they seemed a bit too wrapped up in each other to notice Catra’s preoccupation.</p><p>Catra enjoyed the next thirty minutes of ignoring Glimmer and Bow’s banter and watching Adora warm up.</p><p>She enjoyed herself even more when the game actually started. As the ball moved up and down the field Adora often came closer to where she was sitting, giving Catra a better look at her. As the game went on, she became progressively more disheveled; her uniform was stained with grass and dirt, stray hairs had slipped out of her ponytail, she was flushed and covered in a sheen of sweat… Somewhere after the first half of the game, Catra swallowed as Adora rucked up her shirt to wipe at her face. Holy shit. She adjusted herself in her seat, leaning forward slightly. At the same time, Adora looked up, and Catra’s tail curled, a jolt of nerves shooting through her body—Adora was looking at the crowd, and Catra could’ve sworn her piercing gaze had locked right on her. That was impossible, but still. Catra straighten in her seat.</p><p>What felt like an eternity later, play resumed and Adora’s attention was back on the ball. Catra relaxed slightly, letting out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding. To get her mind off of… all that, she checked the time on her phone again. They probably had another half hour or so of the game left. She looked at the score board for the first time and saw that the two teams were tied, 1-1.</p><p>As the minutes ticked by, BMU’s student section grew louder and louder, shouting chants and encouragement to their team. Bow and Glimmer joined in enthusiastically, casting pointed looks at Catra. Catra remained silent. She rolled her eyes at them, flicked her ears dismissively at their cheers, and propped her elbow on her knee to rest her chin on her palm, but, really, she was as tense as everyone else. She chewed on the inside of her cheek and curled her tail up at her side so no one would see its fur standing on end.</p><p>The game was coming down to the wire. The crowd’s energy bubbled as the ball moved up and down the field. Catra watched Adora carefully as she loped along, eyeing the other players, her brow furrowed in concentration.</p><p>Suddenly, there was an explosion of play in the middle of the field, the ball streaking over the trampled grass, first one way, then the other, ricocheting off of cleated feet like it was part of a pinball machine. A pack of players formed around it—a writhing, jerking mass of people vying for control. They huddled close, legs striking the ball and each other’s shins. Kick. Block. Kick. Block. Kick—</p><p>The ball shot out of the group of players, bouncing down the field towards Salineas’s goal. Adora was right on its tail, more flying over the grass than running. Catra gulped and sat forward as cheers rose in volume all around her. Adora kept running and running, bolting past SU’s players while kicking the ball onward, throttling ahead. She slowed just before reaching the goal, turned on a dime, and passed the ball over to another one of her teammates, bypassing the group of players that were blocking her shot. Her teammate caught the ball with her foot, and, in a split second, fired it towards the goal. The ball volleyed through the air and was true to its target. Before Salineas’s goalie could even react, it had hit the net.</p><p>The crowd erupted in deafening cheers. The stands shook with the sudden surge of everyone rising at once, Catra included. She was yelling and whooping and much as anyone, raising her hands in the air with unrestrained joy. That was<em> her </em>soulmate. That was her soulmate on the field, hugging the teammate who’d scored the goal and being hugged in return. That was her soulmate who was suddenly surrounded by her laughing, smiling friends, getting patted on the back and congratulated. Despite the cold air, Catra was hot all over—her chest bursting with searing pride and affection, and her back tingling with familiar warmth.</p><p>Slowly but steadily, the crowd’s enthusiasm began to die down, the volume going from teeth-shaking to just slightly deafening. Catra clapped and let out a few more victorious cries before letting her hands fall to her sides.</p><p>“Admit it! You’re having fun!”</p><p>Catra didn’t respond to Glimmer’s shout. She just shook her head, smiling unconsciously, and retook her seat.</p><p>The crowd calmed and play resumed for the final few minutes. Salineas tried, really tried, to tie the score again, but it was useless. Time ran out and BMU was declared the winner, 2-1.</p><p>The next thirty minutes would’ve been hell, normally. Getting such good seats meant being farther from the exits, and there was a large crowd of rowdy, yelling students winding through the aisles that blocked their path. Catra could hardly find it in herself to get mad, though. She felt like she was walking on air.</p><p>Glimmer tapped her on the shoulder. Catra turned.</p><p>“Adora says there’s an after party happening and she wants us to come,” the other girl shouted. “You in?”</p><p>Catra nodded.</p><p>It took them another hour to reach the party, between getting out the stadium and the long walk to the address Adora had given them right on the edge of campus—none of them felt like paying for an Uber while they were all still sober. As the adrenaline slowly left Catra’s body, she began to regret agreeing to go.</p><p>Bow was texting all of their other friends, people Catra was peripherally aware of but hardly acquainted with, getting ready to meet them. This was definitely not going to be Catra’s scene. But they were already on their way. Admitting defeat was not an option.</p><p>Eventually, they made it to the house where the party was being held. Catra could already feel the pulsing beat of music thrumming through her body. She swallowed, ears flattening against her head, but kept in step with Bow and Glimmer.</p><p>The three of them entered the house. The party was already in full swing—the music blasting, the conversation loud and raucous, some of the people… hardly clothed. Catra shuffled and stuck close to Glimmer and Bow’s sides. She’d never been to a party without Scorpia and Perfuma, and she’d never realized how much she would miss having Scorpia’s steady presence. Hell, she even missed Perfuma’s calm, unruffled elegance, something that normally struck her as holier-than-thou and unbearably pretentious.</p><p>Catra spotted a cooler full of beers just ahead and walked over to snag one. A bottle opener lay on the floor at her feet. She knelt to pick it up, straightened, and popped the cap off the beer. She took a sip of the cold drink, relishing the feel of the bottle in her hand in contrast to the hot, muggy air around her. Mm. That was nice. The flavor was shit, of course, like stale, week-old water, but still. It was refreshing. She turned back to rejoin Glimmer and Bow and—Fuck. They were gone. Catra craned her head and stood on her tiptoes, but she couldn’t catch any sight of them. For the millionth time in her life, Catra cursed her short stature.</p><p>That was how Catra ended up spending a good twenty minutes flattening herself into a corner, slowly nursing her beer, and watching the crowd for any sign of someone she knew.</p><p>Ugh. There had to be something stronger around here somewhere, she thought, glaring at the bottle in her hand. No way everyone was getting this sloshed this fast on piss water. Unfortunately, going to look for more booze would mean leaving the corner, and leaving the corner would mean… who knew.</p><p>She chewed her lip, coiling her tail at her side to keep some drunk idiot or another from stepping on it.</p><p>Oh well. Maybe once she finished her drink, she would just slip out. Get an Uber or something. Go back to her dorm and try to get to sleep without thinking too hard about the many, many images of Adora, flushed and sweaty, running across the field, she’d filed away in her memory today.  Catra shook her head and took another sip of beer. Since she was apparently so thirsty.</p><p>Speak of the devil. Just ahead of her, Adora burst out of the crowd. Catra perked up, her ears swiveling forward. The two of them locked eyes. Adora stumbled towards her on unsteady feet, meeting her in her corner.</p><p>“Heeeeeey Catra,” she said, crowding her further back into the wall. Catra’s heart pounded as the other girl wrapped her arms around her torso, slumping against her. Adora’s face burrowed into Catra neck, tickling the bare skin with a contented, thoroughly drunken hum.</p><p>“Hey,” Catra placed one hand on each of Adora’s shoulders, supporting her weight. “Jesus. What’ve you been drinking?” She could smell the harsh alcohol rolling off of Adora’s breath in waves.</p><p>Adora shrugged. “Dunno. My teammates gave i’ to me. To celebrate.”</p><p>“What are you doing over here then? Why aren’t you celebrating with them?” she asked, raising a teasing eyebrow.</p><p>Adora shook Catra’s hands away from her shoulders and raised her arms to loop them around the other girl’s neck. Catra tensed at the contact. “Jus’ wanned some air, I guess.”</p><p>Some air. Catra could use some air right about now. They stood there in silence for a while, Catra’s pulse hammering in her throat as Adora’s warm breath fanned over her face. She looked anywhere other than Adora, eyes darting between the crowd past her head and the floor at their feet.</p><p>“I liked seeing you a’ the game today,” Adora said. “It made me real happy.”</p><p>Catra furrowed her brow and shook her head, a stupid little grin spreading on her face at the other girl’s words. “What do you mean, ‘seeing’ me? You couldn’t pick me out in that huge crowd, dummy.”</p><p>“Could too!” Adora pouted. She moved her hands down from Catra’s neck to her abdomen, grabbing two fistfuls of Catra’s leather jacket. “You were in the front. I knew you wouldn’ wear BMU clothes like everybody else. I could tell who you were ‘cause of the jacket.” She giggled. “It made me a little nervous.”</p><p>Catra went even hotter, if that was possible. She wrapped her hands around Adora’s and gently tried to pry them off. Her grip was surprisingly strong, though—Catra gave up and surrendered to the soft, pliant pressure of Adora’s weight pressing her to the wall. She almost fell when Adora stepped away, looking at her with strange determination.</p><p>“Catra,” she said, as serious as she could be with her eyes unfocused and her speech sloppy. “We’re frien’s, right?”</p><p>Catra narrowed her eyes, amused, and smiled. “’Course we are, idiot.”  She faltered a little at Adora’s expression, though—she looked doubtful and sad, her eyes wandering over Catra’s face. After a few moments, she hummed and leaned back in, once again burying her face into Catra’s neck.</p><p>“Thas’ good. ‘Cause sometimes—sometimes I can’ tell,” she whispers. “An’ I think you’re really cool, an’ I wanna hang out with you more, but sometimes… I don’ think you wanna be aroun’ me.”</p><p>Catra brought her hands up to rest between Adora’s shoulder blades. She frowned. Was that really how Adora felt? She didn’t know what to say. “That’s not true,” she finally settled on. “I like hanging out with you.”</p><p>“Yay!”</p><p>Catra felt more than heard Adora’s giggle against her neck. The girl went even more limp against her. Catra grunted.</p><p>“Okay,” she wheezed. “I think you’ve had enough for one night.”</p><p>Adora nodded. “Prob’ly.”</p><p>Catra pushed the other girl upright. “We should get you home. Do you have everything with you?”</p><p>Adora nodded. She patted her jeans—were those men’s jeans? —and smiled. “Got BIG pockets.”</p><p>“Alright, let’s see about finding Glimmer and getting you guys back.”</p><p>Glimmer was… occupied. She and several familiar faces that Catra couldn’t put names to were engaged in some kind of drinking game—Catra couldn’t quite figure out what the rules were in the minute or so of shouting she did to get the girl’s attention. She wasn’t as wasted as Adora was, but she definitely wasn’t sober.</p><p>“Does she have her keys?” Glimmer asked.</p><p>Catra nodded.</p><p>“Would it be alright if you took her home? I think this game is gonna go for a while longer.” There was a familiar, competitive gleam in her eyes.</p><p>Catra frowned, concerned. Knowing Glimmer, there was no way she’d stop playing until someone else made her. “Are you going to be able to get home alright?”</p><p>Bow flashed her a thumbs up. “I’m not drinking tonight,” he said. “I’ll make sure she gets back safe.”</p><p>Catra shrugged. “Alright then. I’ll get her back to her dorm. Let’s march, dummy.” She steered Adora away from the group and through the crowd of people towards the door. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, before either of them got tripped or body slammed.</p><p>Unfortunately, it was a long wait for the Uber. The two of them stood outside of the house, Adora steadying herself with an arm around Catra’s shoulder. Catra tried not to think about that, though. Instead, she focused on the way the orange-yellow glow of the streetlamp overhead colored the mist of her breath in the cold air, admiring how it swirled and danced in the wind like a dragon’s bright fire.</p><p>Next to her, Adora shivered. Catra looked at her. “Chilly?” she asked.</p><p>Adora nodded, wrapping her free arm around her own torso and wedging her hand between their bodies. Of course she was cold—she was only in jeans and a t-shirt.</p><p>Without even thinking, Catra gently stepped out of Adora’s hold, making sure the other girl was still steady on her feet before pulling away entirely. She slipped out of her leather jacket and walked behind Adora. “Arms out.”</p><p>Obediently, Adora raised her arms. Catra draped her jacket over Adora’s back and tugged the sleeves over them. She moved in front of Adora to zip it up, smoothing it out and letting her hands rest of Adora’s arms. The jacket was a little tight in places where it was normally loose on Catra, but it fit. “Better?”</p><p>Adora nodded. “Thank you.”</p><p>Catra took her place next to Adora again, putting the girl’s arm back around her shoulder—this time not so much to support her as to steal her warmth. The cold night air nipped at Catra’s suddenly bare skin.</p><p>The Uber got there a few minutes later. Catra enjoyed soaking in the warmth of the car’s heating while watching the city streets pass by through the window as they drove through Bright Moon. Soon enough, they were inside Adora’s building and Catra was guiding her towards her room.</p><p>“Keys,” she requested when they reached it. Adora nodded and rifled through her pockets, whipping out her key ring. “Thank you.” Catra unlocked the door and ushered the other girl across the threshold. She shut it behind them.</p><p>Adora shuffled towards the bed, slightly more stable than she had been when she’d first found Catra at the party. Catra followed her. “Here,” she said. “Let me help you out.” She unlaced Adora’s shoes and let the other girl shake them off, then unzipped her leather jacket and tugged it off of Adora’s shoulders. She laid it at the foot of the bed and wheeled around to grab the chair from Adora’s desk. “Use this to help get up,” she said, holding it steady. “Put a hand on my shoulder to brace yourself if you need to.”</p><p>Adora did what she asked, using the chair as a stepladder. Catra watched her carefully, one arm outstretched and ready to catch her if she slipped. Adora flopped onto her bed with a <em>thump</em>.</p><p>“Do you keep ibuprofen in your bathroom?”</p><p>Adora turned over and nodded. Catra went to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet, eyeing its contents. Bingo. She pulled out the bottle of pills and brought it into the bedroom, putting it on Adora’s desk. “Want some water?”</p><p>Adora nodded again. Catra looked around and spotted an empty glass on a shelf. She picked it up and sniffed it. Clean enough. While Adora rustled around on the bed behind her, Catra went back to the bathroom and turned on the tap. She swirled a bit of water around in the glass to clean it out before dumping it out and filling it up all the way.</p><p>She’d just stepped out of the bathroom when she paused, rolled her eyes fondly, and rested her head on the door frame. In the maybe thirty seconds she’d been away, Adora had passed out. She shook her head. Dummy couldn’t even make sure she was all the way under her covers before falling asleep.</p><p>Catra crossed the room and grabbed Adora’s blankets, pulling them out from under her and up to her chin. “There you go, princess,” she murmured.</p><p>Adora snored.</p><p>Catra sighed and put her hands on her hips. She could leave now. Adora was home and in bed. But that wouldn’t be right. What if she woke up and needed something? Or worse—sleeping after drinking heavily could be dangerous. She needed someone to look after her. At least for a while.</p><p>She’d stay, she decided. Just until Glimmer got back.</p><p>She was awake for another couple of hours or so, just scrolling on her phone and glancing every so often at Adora’s sleeping face. She looked pretty peaceful. The sleep must’ve been treating her well. The sound of her gentle snoring filled the quiet room, soothing Catra’s worries.</p><p>Finally, her exhaustion caught up with her. She wasn’t sure when Glimmer would come, so she grabbed her leather jacket, balled it up and put it on Adora’s desk, placing her head on top of it. Just to rest her eyes for a bit.</p><p>As she drifted off, Catra thought back to Glimmer and Bow, and Scorpia and Perfuma, and everything she’d been thinking about before the game.</p><p>Maybe she didn’t know what soulmates relationships were supposed to look like. But she could learn—for Adora’s sake. Because whether the other girl knew that was what they were or not (whether Catra had the guts to tell her or not,) Catra wasn’t going to let her feel like she didn’t care about her again. Adora deserved that much.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>drunk adora and catra didn't interact in canon so i will write it and that's that on that</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things became… comfortable. In Catra and Adora’s friendship. After the party.</p><p>As much as it had hurt Catra to hear Adora’s words that night, they had also boosted her pride. Just a little. What Adora had said—it had made Catra feel wanted. And taking care of Adora afterwards, well. That had made her feel needed.</p><p>It turned out, Catra really liked to feel needed.</p><p>She didn’t care to psychoanalyze herself (she was perfectly happy to pick other people’s brains, that you very much.) There was probably a laundry list of reasons why she liked it so much.  </p><p>Whatever.</p><p>Giving to Adora made her feel valuable. Like she had something worth taking. It was nice. It was more than nice, really—it was intoxicating.</p><p>She chased that feeling through the rest of the fall semester.</p><p>It was in the little ways that she made sure to hang around Adora where she hadn’t before. She grabbed dinner with the others more often. She got up and waited in colder and colder lines to watch her games. Hell, even just sitting with Adora in the silent library (or, as silent as any building with Adora in it could be) studying was time she relished.</p><p>By the time finals were over, Catra had firmly, though begrudgingly, cemented herself as part of the “Best Friend Squad”.</p><p>Which was why it was going to suck so much being stuck at BMU all alone for nearly a month.</p><p>Catra groaned and rolled onto her other side, burrowing deeper into her blankets. Across the room, Scorpia was whispering to herself as she packed her suitcase, clothes strewn all around her like a bomb had gone off in her closet.</p><p>“Toothbrush… Comb…” she muttered to herself. “Check.” She turned to face her roommate. “Are you sure you’ll be alright by yourself, Catra? I mean, I don’t have to go to Perfuma’s, I’m sure she’d understand if I stayed here, and—”</p><p>“It’s fine, Scorpia,” Catra drawled, the sound of her voice slightly muffled by her pillow. “Your flight leaves in like, two hours. Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet about meeting the parents.”</p><p>“What? Me? Cold feet? That’s crazy—I mean, it’s Perfuma’s family, I’m sure—I’m sure they’re all as nice as she is, and Perfuma likes me, so they will too, right? They’ll like me, right? Perfuma likes me, right?”</p><p>“Yes, Scorpia. Perfuma likes you.” Catra sat up. There was no way she’d be getting back to sleep this morning. “She likes you so much it’s nauseating.”</p><p>“You really think so?” Scorpia’s smile was blinding.</p><p>“I really do. Now move your ass with the packing, you’re gonna need to leave soon to get through security.”</p><p>“Right!”</p><p>Scorpia redoubled her efforts, almost ripping her clothing with her sharp pincers in her haste to fold it. Catra leapt off her bed and padded over to her desk to grab a mug. She peered through the window’s blinds to see that it was still pitch-black outside.</p><p>While she brewed a cup of coffee in the corner of the room, Catra mulled over her plans for the day.</p><p>To be clear, she had none.</p><p>Now that her finals were over and winter break was starting, everyone was heading home. She’d heard all about everyone’s plans over the last couple of weeks. Glimmer was going to be staying in a woodsy cabin with her (very rich) parents. Bow was heading home to see his dads and his twelve (twelve!) older brothers. And Scorpia was going with Perfuma to her hometown to meet her soulmate’s family. BMU was about to become a ghost town for three weeks, and Catra, unfortunately, was one of the ghosts.</p><p>Catra enjoyed her alone time. Maybe even a little more than the average person. But it was still a daunting prospect.</p><p>Scorpia zipped up her suitcase. She put her hands on her hips and took a deep breath, in and out. “Alright! I’m ready to go.”</p><p>Catra hummed and took a sip of her coffee. Her tail twisted behind her.</p><p>“Sure you’ll be okay, Wildcat?”</p><p>Catra grimaced into her mug at the tinge of open concern in Scorpia’s voice. “Yeah, why?” She raised her eyes to Scorpia’s in a silent challenge.  </p><p>The two of them stood stock-still for several moments, neither breaking eye contact. Catra half-expected Scorpia to push the it, but, to her surprise, after a few more beats, Scorpia looked away, propping up her suitcase and extending its handle.</p><p>“Well, I guess this is goodbye for now,” she said.  “C’mere, Catra.” She opened her arms wide and quickly stepped forward, trapping Catra in her embrace before she could dodge. She squeezed Catra tightly, her bulky frame totaling eclipsing her short roommate. After a couple seconds of Catra struggling, Scorpia relaxed her grip and walked back towards the door. “See you in a few weeks! Text me! Have a good break!”</p><p>Like that, she was gone, her suitcase whisked out of an open-and-shut door.</p><p>In the wake of her exit, Catra let out a deep sigh. She scrubbed a hand over her face, careful to avoid nicking herself with her claws.</p><p>Her room always felt a little too big when Scorpia wasn’t around. She was such a large, loud presence that the room felt empty and incomplete without her.</p><p>Catra took another sip of her coffee. She sat down at her desk and opened her laptop. There wasn’t much to do at—Jesus, 6:30 in the morning. The dining hall wouldn’t even be open for another half an hour. The dining hall… There was a thought. Maybe she could just kill a bit of time and then go get some food. Normally she skipped breakfast in favor of an extra hour or so of sleep, but, if she was up, well, it was something.</p><p>Half an hour later, Catra took the last cold sip of her coffee and shrugged on a few layers of clothing, preparing herself to weather Bright Moon’s bitter winter. Ten minutes of shivering later, and she’d reached her destination.</p><p> The dining hall was basically deserted. To be fair, it was probably always empty this early in the morning, whether it was a break or no. Catra filled her plate in near-total silence, save for the clatter of machinery and the squeak of her own shoes on the tiled floor.</p><p>She sat down by a dark window and began to eat, chewing thoughtfully as she scrolled on her phone.</p><p>“Catra!”</p><p>Catra’s ears twitched. She turned in her seat and saw Adora walking towards her. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Hey.”</p><p>Adora slid into the seat across from Catra. She smiled widely. “Weird seeing you here. Normally I’m the only one eating this early.”</p><p>Catra shrugged and poked at her plate. A bit of squishy scrambled egg just barely escaped her fork. “Well, y’know. Scorpia was packing for her flight. Couldn’t sleep through it.” She frowned. “I’m surprised to see you here, too. Didn’t your finals end a couple days ago? Why are you still on campus?”</p><p>“Don’t have anywhere else to be,” Adora responded easily. At Catra’s prompting gaze, she elaborated. “Foster kid.”</p><p>Catra nodded. “No shit. Same here.”</p><p>She hadn’t ever really thought that much about Adora’s family, to be honest. Probably because Adora had never brought it up. Maybe at the beginning, before she’d met Adora in person, she’d had some shadowy idea of a stern, proud father and an uptight whirlwind of a mother, the kind of nightmarish in-laws she always saw in movies and on television, but they’d been nothing but daydreams. Catra didn’t spend much time daydreaming about Adora anymore—the real thing was much more interesting to her than anything her mind could think up.</p><p>Adora nodded. She brought a steaming spoonful of oatmeal to her lips and blew on it. “Yep. I mean, I guess Glimmer invited me to go on vacation with her family, but…” She trailed off.</p><p>“You turned down a trip to Sparkles’ chalet?” Catra asked, eyes wide. “Why?”</p><p>Adora put the spoon in her mouth, taking a moment to swallow the oatmeal. “I didn’t want to…y’know, impose or anything.”</p><p>“She invited you.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Her parents are loaded.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Catra studied Adora’s face. The tightness of her brow convinced Catra to hold her tongue, at least for the moment. She shrugged and kept on eating, dropping the subject in favor of talking about anything and everything else—soccer, classes, parties, whatever came up. Catra hardly noticed the sun rising outside, casting a pinkish glow on the shiny wooden tables, or the sounds of clanking silverware as more and more students filled the surrounding seats.</p><p>Finally, around nine am, Adora checked her phone. “Shoot! I have a meeting with my major advisor in, like, twenty minutes!” She stood up, stacking her dirty dishes, and smiled apologetically at Catra. “See you tomorrow?”</p><p>“Actually,” Catra said. “How about you come over to my dorm tonight? We can hang out, watch a movie or something?” She fidgeted with her dirty fork, chewing on the inside of her mouth.</p><p>Adora beamed at her. “Sure! I’ll text you about a time.”</p><p>Catra spent the next few hours stewing in nervousness, tidying her dorm room and doing several loads of laundry in the blissfully empty communal washers and dryers.</p><p>She didn’t think she’d ever had Adora over to her place—or anyone, for that matter. Normally they just hung out at Glimmer and Adora’s dorm. That was easiest, and besides, Catra liked having her own space. Sue her. It wasn’t like her room was anything special, anyways. Sure, Scorpia had collected various decorations and knick-knacks since moving in, a couple of gifts from Perfuma and the cheap BMU branded shit that was handed out at school events. But Catra’s side of the room was as empty as the day she’d moved in. Normally the only “decoration” was the piles and piles of dirty clothes strewn across the floor.</p><p>Once all that clothing was washed and folded away, Catra was again struck by how depressingly bare it was. She smoothed a hand over her bed’s comforter and frowned, ears flattened against her head. At first, she’d just been happy to have somewhere away from Shadow Weaver, somewhere that woman could never touch. But in all the months of living here, she hadn’t done anything to make it better. To make it a real home.</p><p>Catra sighed and patted her bed one more time for good measure, then straightened up and walked over to the minifridge she and Scorpia shared. It didn’t have a lot of food in it—she’d have to get something for her and Adora. It did have plenty of alcohol, though. Perfuma made sure of that. She was big on the craft beer scene in Bright Moon and she was doing her best to “convert” Scorpia. Catra, for her part, wasn’t really a fan of the stuff Perfuma liked. Perfuma drank a lot of sours and Catra could barely finish one without gagging. But maybe Adora would like them better than she did. At least the shit was stronger than most of the beer Catra had had at BMU.</p><p>Catra grabbed her phone and checked the time. Right as she was about to set it down again, a notification popped up. A message from Adora.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>does 6 work for you?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Then another.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>i was thinking of bringing pizza if that’s ok</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra shot back a quick affirmative.</p><p>Sure enough, at 6 PM on the dot, Adora knocked on Catra’s door, a large pizza box in tow. Catra waved her in, surreptitiously smoothing her tail’s ruffled fur as Adora surveyed the room. She took the pizza from Adora and set it down on her desk. She hoped she wasn’t getting any important papers greasy.</p><p>“What do you want to watch?” Adora asked her a few minutes later, scrolling through Netflix’s catalogue.</p><p>“Don’t care,” Catra replied offhandedly. She knew that there was a bottle opener somewhere in this room… She dropped to her knees, searching the messy floor underneath Scorpia’s bed. Bingo. “Want a drink?”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>Catra grabbed a couple beers from the fridge and set them on her bed, then jumped up to join Adora, who had just started playing something on the little TV across the room she and Scorpia had pooled their money to buy.</p><p>“So, what’d you pick?” She passed one of the bottles to Adora.</p><p>“Some new holiday rom-com.”</p><p>Catra groaned. “A rom-com? Really?”</p><p>“Hey, I’ve been hearing really good things about it!”</p><p>“You could’ve picked anything, action, horror—”</p><p>“We all know how you handle horror.”</p><p>“—Hell, even a reality show, but a fucking rom-com?”</p><p>“Reality TV is horror.”</p><p>Adora and Catra glared playfully at each other for a few more moments before Catra broke eye contact to pop the cap off her drink. “What’s it about, anyways?”</p><p>“I’m not really sure. I think it’s about a girl looking for her soulmate on one of those soulmate forums. And then I think she and her soulmate get snowed in together somewhere? But they don’t know they’re soulmates? Glimmer was telling me about it,” Adora explained. She smiled softly. “I thought it was fitting.”</p><p>Catra’s head snapped up. “Huh?”</p><p>“Y’know, since we met on one of those forums?” Adora’s expression was so kind, so open, so trusting and so, so oblivious Catra felt her heart thumping painfully against her ribcage. She coughed and took a sip of her beer, grimacing a little at the taste. It coated her mouth in a bitter, herbal tang. Good enough. She went in for a bigger gulp. She leaned back against her wall, hyper-conscious of the way Adora’s leg slightly pressed against hers on the small bed.</p><p>“Sounds mushy,” she finally said, settling in for the opening sequence.  </p><p>In the end, she barely paid any attention to the entire two-and-a-half-hour film. She spent most of it drinking, getting more beer to drink, and studiously ignoring the tingle on her back when Adora burrowed into her side, mumbling something about how cold it was getting.</p><p>When the end credits finally started, Adora rolled over, swinging her feet into Catra’s lap and sprawling her arms across the foot of Catra’s bed. “That was so cute,” she gushed, looking a little red and out of it from the alcohol. “I want it.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I want to find my soulmate like that,” Adora said. “Can you even imagine? Spending all that time falling in love with someone, hoping they’ll be the one, and then they <em>are</em>?” She smiled goofily and performed a comically drawn out chef’s kiss. “Poetic cinema.”</p><p>Catra gulped. She knew she shouldn’t say anything. She went to take another drink, only to find her bottle empty, just a few tiny droplets landing on her tongue. But she was curious, and she wasn’t quite thinking straight, so she went ahead anyways—“What, do you have someone in mind?”</p><p>Adora shifted in her lap a little, looking up at her. “Doesn’t everyone?”</p><p>Catra shrugged, doing her best to keep her face neutral. She wasn’t sure if it was working or not. “Who?”</p><p>“I mean, plenty of people. It could be anyone, right? Like, there was this girl in my chem lab at the beginning of the year. She sat next to me, and she was really cute. I was kinda hoping it’d be her, but then I found out she has a boyfriend who’s her soulmate so, no dice. And I also thought it could be this sophomore on the soccer team, but we talked about soulmates once and apparently, she doesn’t have a soulmark—she’s not interested in romantic relationships. Oh, and then there’s the captain of the CWU soccer team. Do you remember CWU?”</p><p>Catra remembered that team. It was the only team that had beaten Adora’s all year. And she remembered its captain—a tall, muscular woman with a jawline that could cut glass named Huntara.</p><p>“I talked to her for a while after our game,” Adora continued. “She gave me some really great advice, and, I don’t know, I felt like there was a connection there? I got her number and we’ve been texting and, I dunno. She’s really nice when you get to know her! And, I mean, she’s pretty hot or whatever too…” She trailed off with a sheepish laugh, eyes darting away from Catra’s face.</p><p>Catra ground her teeth together. She’d asked for this, she couldn’t be angry. But she was. She was practically bristling with the possessive impulse that had seized her body the second Adora had started talking about the first girl. At the same time, she was furious at herself for feeling that way. She knew that she had no right to. She reminded herself to breathe, exhaling away some of the tension in her body.</p><p>Swallowing heavily, Catra finally responded. “She sounds pretty dreamy, princess,” she teased, “But you’ll have to forgive me for not thinking life can live up to fairy tales.”</p><p>“Come on, Catra,” Adora said. “You’re looking, right? There’s gotta be someone at BMU you’ve got your eye on. Spill.”</p><p>Catra looked at her, quirking an eyebrow in a way that she hoped looked dismissive. Her chest tightened painfully.</p><p>Adora pouted. “Catraaa.”</p><p>Catra’s tail coiled and puffed at her side. She needed out of this conversation <em>stat</em>—no way in hell she was gonna sit there and make up stories about random hot women or keep getting prodded by Adora. In her desperate, tipsy haze, she found the quickest solution. Telling the truth.</p><p>“I already found my soulmate.”</p><p>Adora blinked at her, then sat up, moving her legs off of Catra’s lap to dangle them from the edge of her lofted bed. “Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>…</p><p>“Catra, that’s great! When?”</p><p>“It was over the summer,” Catra continued, sheathing and unsheathing her claws. “I found her on the forum we met on.”</p><p>Adora playfully nudged her with an elbow. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”</p><p>“I dunno. We’re taking things slow, feeling it out. We haven’t really committed or anything yet.”</p><p>Adora frowned. “But… she’s your soulmate. Why wouldn’t you?”</p><p>“Plenty of people don’t end up with their soulmates,” Catra reminded her.</p><p>“Yeah, when they don’t find each other, because one of them dies or they don’t talk about their marks or something. You’ve got your other half right there and you’re just gonna sit on your hands?”</p><p>Adora looked genuinely baffled. Of course she did—she thought that her soulmate was going to sweep her off her feet like a romantic hero. She had no idea how wrong she was about that. She had no fucking clue how disappointed she’d be with the truth. Suddenly, the bitter taste in Catra’s mouth wasn’t just the beer.</p><p>Catra blinked at Adora. “Yep,” she answered tersely.</p><p>Adora seemed to take the hint. Her expression shifted from impassioned to mortified. “Shoot, Catra, I’m sorry, it’s none of my business—Really, I didn’t mean to—”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Catra reassured her. She picked up the remote that sat on the bed between them and used it to switch off the television.</p><p>Adora jumped to the floor. Catra followed suit, wiping her flushed, sweaty forehead. Thank God that was over with. She grabbed the empty cardboard pizza box and ripped it into shreds, muscles straining to tear through the tough material. When she looked up, Adora was watching her.</p><p>“See you tomorrow?” she asked. “Breakfast?”</p><p>“How about lunch?” Catra countered. “Sorry to say, me waking up so early today was a one-time deal.”</p><p>“Lunch it is.”</p><p>There was an awkward silence for a few heartbeats before Adora slowly walked towards Catra, arms open. Catra swallowed and raised her own, meeting Adora in a stiff, barely-there hug. Just a couple of seconds and it was over. A couple more and Adora was walking out the door.</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p>“Bye,” Catra echoed, waving.  </p><p>Maybe a minute after the door was shut, Catra was on her knees in her bathroom, dry heaving over her toilet. Saliva pooled in her mouth and dripped into the water below as she gripped its cool porcelain sides. She squeezed her eyes shut. Goddammit. She wasn’t sure what it was—the alcohol, the jealousy, the lying, or all three—but her stomach was roiling, and a clammy, nauseating heat was pulsing through her body. She gagged again.</p><p>Finally, when she was certain she wasn’t going to throw up, she released her grip on the toilet, shuffling backwards on her knees to rest against a cool wall. She took deep breaths and rose to her shaky feet.</p><p>She needed help. She couldn’t keep this bottled up anymore, not when the pressure of it was literally making her sick. She was ashamed of herself—too ashamed to look anyone in the eye. But she didn’t have to. Not yet. Not for at least three weeks.</p><p>Catra exited the bathroom and grabbed her phone off her desk. She climbed into her bed, exhausted, and with her trash can positioned nearby (just in case). She shot off a text to Scorpia, finally telling someone the secret she’d been guarding for months.</p><p>
  <em>adora’s my soulmate</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ahhhhh i'm sorry that this took so long! but it's here!</p><p>writing has been really tough these past couple weeks. there's been a few pressing responsibilities taking priority. and i've also just been feeling really sad and stressed with the world. one of my family members tested positive for covid, so y'know. much to think about. </p><p>sorry again for the wait and sorry if this chapter isn't as good as the previous ones! i'm hoping that i've broken through that funk a little and can get back in the swing of things. hope you enjoyed :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra woke up to a pounding headache and several notifications on her phone. She winced at the bright light streaming through her window, turning over to face the wall instead. Ugh. She hadn’t even gotten drunk last night, and she still felt like absolute shit.</p><p>All the consequences with none of the fun.</p><p>After a couple minutes of feeling sorry for herself and wallowing in her cocoon of blankets, Catra rolled out of bed and padded to her bathroom, putting off looking at any of the messages for now. She grimaced at her appearance in the mirror—her wild bedhead, her wrinkled clothing. She hadn’t bothered showering or even changing into pajamas before falling asleep. She looked and felt gross.</p><p>To be fair, last night had been rough, even by her standards. But still. It was the principal of the thing.</p><p>Catra hummed along to a random song in her head as she wet in her toothbrush under her tap. She spread some toothpaste on the softened bristles and stuck it in her mouth, screwing up her face as the minty flavor of the paste mingled with the sour remnants of the beer from last night. Fucking Perfuma and her pretentious shit that just wouldn’t quit. She spat into the sink a little harder than was necessary.</p><p>She showered, washed her face and got dressed like it was a normal day before falling right back into bed. She stared up at the white, textured ceiling of her dorm. Her phone lay just beside her head. Taunting her. Beckoning her. She didn’t want to read any of the messages, —she assumed they were all from Scorpia, demanding her to explain herself—but at the same time she couldn’t <em>not </em>read them.</p><p>Catra groaned. She picked up her phone.</p><p>Six unread texts from Scorpia. One unread text from Adora.</p><p>She opened Adora’s message first.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>hey!! im free all day, when do you want to grab lunch?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Right. Lunch. Catra bit her lip and swallowed. She quickly sent off a response.</p><p>
  <em>can we get a raincheck? im not feeling great today</em>
</p><p>Technically, it wasn’t a lie.</p><p>Almost instantly, Adora replied.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>sorry to hear that, ofc!! feel better :(</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>thanks</em>
</p><p>Catra took a deep breath. That was one bird down—another to go. She opened Scorpia’s messages, her tail wriggling nervously in her sheets.</p><p>
  <strong>!! WHAT</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>CATRA</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>CONGRATULATIONS WILDCAT! TELL ME EVERYTHING</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>CATRA??</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>ARE YOU OKAY</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>CATRA DO I NEED TO CALL SOMEONE</strong>
</p><p>Eyes wide, and silently praying that university housing wasn’t going to break down her door at any moment for a “Wellness Check,” Catra texted her back.</p><p>
  <em>im fine scorpia</em>
</p><p>
  <em>please dont call anyone</em>
</p><p>A few seconds later, and Scorpia was typing.</p><p>
  <strong>THANK GOODNESS</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>AND DON’T WORRY, I DIDNT CALL ANYONE</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>I FIGURED YOU AND ADORA MIGHT JUST BE BUSY</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>WINK</strong>
</p><p>Catra groaned audibly into her empty room.</p><p>
  <em>we definitely were not</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>OK WELL YOU STILL HAVENT TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT YOU TWO</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>COME ON!!! I WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>can i call you</em>
</p><p>A couple of minutes later, and Catra was pacing the carpeted floor of her dorm. She glared at the phone that was perched on the edge of her bed as if someone was actually there with her.</p><p>Scorpia’s tinny, excited voice rang out from its speakers. “Tell me everything!”</p><p>Catra chewed on her thumbnail.</p><p>“Catra?”</p><p>“Fine,” Catra growled. “I’ll tell you. But just—It’s a long story, okay? Just let me…get it all out. Y’know, don’t interrupt me until I’m done. Okay?”</p><p>There was a pause. Catra heard some shuffling on the other end of the line before Scorpia responded. “Okay.”</p><p>“Remember that online soulmate forum you met Perfuma on?”</p><p>“…Yeah?”</p><p>“I went on that forum. Back when you wouldn’t stop asking me to. I visited it a couple of times, actually, and I, uh,” Catra scratched the back of her neck. “I saw my mark. I found my… soulmate.” The word tasted foreign on her tongue.</p><p>True to her word, Scorpia stayed silent. Still, Catra could practically feel her vibrating from hundreds of miles away.</p><p>“It was Adora. She’s my soulmate.” Catra took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. Her tail lashed involuntarily. “I—I messaged her something, I don’t remember what, and we started talking and we decided to meet at BMU since we were going to the same school, but I never told her. That I had the same mark as her. And now, it’s been months, we’ve been friends for months, and I’ve met her friends, I’ve made friends with her friends, we’ve watched movies and done dumb shit and gotten drunk and talked about soulmates and I know, but she doesn’t—” Catra cut herself off. She pulled out her chair from her desk and sank into it. She ran a hand through her hair, mussing up the damp strands. “I guess that’s really it.” She laughed weakly. “She doesn’t know. That’s it.”</p><p>“Catra…”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“You have to tell her."</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell her?”</p><p>Catra sighed.</p><p>Suddenly, a new voice came from the phone. “While I’m glad you’re getting this off your chest, I think now we need to find some constructive ways to move forward with this conflict.”</p><p>“Perfuma?” Catra yelped. “Have you—Have you been listening this whole time?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, she has. I’m staying in her room,” Scorpia explained.</p><p>“Jesus fucking Christ.” Catra scrubbed a hand over her face, fuming. The fur on the back of her neck bristled furiously. “This was supposed to be private,” she hissed.</p><p>“Sorry!”</p><p>“In any case,” Perfuma continued. “Maybe we can further explore your reasons for not telling Adora the truth?”</p><p>“Oh, we are so not doing this,” Catra said. “I didn’t make this call to get therapy.”</p><p>“Then why did you call?”</p><p>“I’m a psych major too, Perfuma, I’m not falling for your shit.”</p><p>“You’re a freshman taking intro classes,” Perfuma chided. “Besides, I’m a sophomore—not a therapist. I just think it would be healthy to talk through your problems in more detail and make a plan to resolve them.”</p><p>“Oh, so this is just more of your Instagram-yoga mom bullshit? Hard pass.”</p><p> “<em>Catra</em>.”</p><p>Catra clenched her jaw and looked out her window. Her dorm room faced a little sand volleyball court, and most of the time it had someone playing a game on it—usually shirtless frat boys, unfortunately. Now, though, it was empty, save for a couple of little birds that caught Catra’s eye, darting between the shaggy bushes that lined its sides. What could she say? Cat instincts.</p><p>The two birds were circling each other, flying back and forth across the court a few feet at a time. Were they fighting? Chasing each other? Catra watched them pensively for a minute or so. One of them puffed itself out, spreading its little wings in a vain attempt to project its strength and dominance. The other bird pecked at the ground at its feet before launching itself into the air and out of sight. It was a cute little scene—it took the edge off of Catra’s anger, leaving her with resigned frustration.</p><p>She looked back at her phone, sitting alone in her empty room. “Perfuma?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>Catra bit her tongue and hesitated. “I… I can’t tell her.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Catra’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay?”</p><p>“It’s okay if you don’t tell her, Catra. She's <em>your</em> soulmate. The choice is up to you. No one else.”</p><p>Catra nodded, even though no one could see her. “Okay.”</p><p>“I do have a question, though.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Do you want to tell her?”</p><p>Catra dug her claws into her palms.</p><p>Did she want to tell Adora?</p><p>Before she had time to reflect, the answer slipped from her tongue, unbidden: “Yes.”</p><p>She blinked, shocked at herself.  Her racing pulse pounded in her ears. A few moments passed, steeped in inner turmoil and confusion, before she became vaguely aware of someone sniffling in the background. She sighed. “Scorpia, you doing okay?”</p><p>“Me? Yeah, I’m fine, just, wow. Did not expect this call to go like this.” The sound of nose-blowing echoed over the speakers. “I’m really proud of you for opening up like this, Wildcat.”</p><p>Catra flushed. “Shut up,” she said, ears flat against her head. “I’m only doing this because your soulmate decided to drag it out of me at 11 am on a Sunday.”</p><p>She glared at her carpet for a few beats before her expression softened slightly, her ears perking up again and her tail coming to rest on her lap. “I want to tell her,” she said. “But not yet. I’m not ready yet.”</p><p>“When do you think you’ll be ready?”</p><p>Catra shrugged helplessly. “Maybe once I don’t feel like Fate seriously ripped Adora off in the soulmate department.” She said it wryly, delivered it as a joke, but stiffened when she fully processed her words, realizing that they revealed far more than she’d wanted to.</p><p>There was silence at the other end of the line for a long time—so long that for a second, Catra thought that the call might’ve disconnected. When someone spoke again, it wasn’t Perfuma, like Catra expected, but Scorpia.</p><p>“Catra,” Her tone was firm and unwavering, the same voice that she used every morning when she did her daily affirmations to the bathroom mirror. “You are great. You’re amazing. You’re smart, and you’re brave, and you always do your best to help out the people you care about, even if you won’t admit it. Adora is lucky to have you as a soulmate. And being soulmates with someone—it’s not this, I don’t know, transactional thing some people make it out to be. I’m with Perfuma because I love her, not because she’s my reward from the Universe or something. So don’t worry about being “good enough” for Adora. That’s not what love’s about. Just be you.”</p><p>Catra blinked, surprised by Scorpia’s impassioned words.  </p><p>Apparently, she wasn’t the only one. “You—you love me?”</p><p>“What? Uh, yeah, I mean, I’ve told you that before, right? Right?” Catra could hear the panic in Scorpia’s voice. Despite herself, she smiled at the sound of Perfuma’s clear laughter.</p><p>“I love you too, you big beautiful bug.”</p><p>Muffled giggles floated from the phone’s speakers. Catra mock-groaned. “Can you guys quit being gross, for like, five more minutes?”</p><p>Scorpia coughed. “Sorry, Catra!”</p><p>Perfuma cleared her throat. “Right. Catra, Scorpia is totally correct. You shouldn’t fixate on feeling like Adora is too good for you, that’s not a healthy or productive mindset. However, if you would like to work on improving your self-image before making a life-changing decision like telling Adora about your soulmark, I would be happy to help you get started working on that once I’m back on campus.”</p><p>Catra paused. Her tail curled and uncurled on her lap. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” she finally said. “As long as it isn’t too much… Y’know. Yuppie-cult shit.”</p><p>“Great!” Perfuma chirped. “In the meantime, enjoy your break Catra! Do something fun back at BMU!”</p><p>“10-4,” Catra shot back. “Will do.”</p><p>Scorpia’s voice came over the line next. “Talk soon! Bye!”</p><p>“Bye.”</p><p>The call ended there. Catra sat back in her chair, exhausted.</p><p>Something fun.</p><p>Huh.</p><p>The thing was, Catra didn’t really do fun. She didn’t have hobbies. Not like how Scorpia and Glimmer were in a book club together, or how Bow was in that robot building club, or how Adora did her early-morning runs. When she wasn’t in class, she was doing schoolwork, and when she wasn’t doing schoolwork, she was either hanging out with the “Best Friend Squad” or watching YouTube videos (nail art videos were her current guilty pleasure, even though she could never recreate any of the looks.)</p><p>But there wasn’t any schoolwork to do right now, Bow and Glimmer were gone, and she figured that watching middle-aged women with soft, soothing voices talk about topcoats for three weeks straight wasn’t exactly what Perfuma had in mind for her.</p><p>Besides what Perfuma would think, Catra had a certain feeling right now, an itch under her fur, that she didn’t think would be scratched by mindless consumption. She needed something to actually <em>do</em>, to calm the raging storm in her brain for a bit and to let her thoughts settle. Maybe then things would make more sense.</p><p>Catra dug further back into her mind, looking for things she’d done for fun back before she’d gotten her act together and started trying in her classes. Well. She remembered getting in a lot a fights? Definitely tempting. Probably not a great idea though. She’d skipped her classes often, playing hooky by burrowing herself away in all the little hidey-holes of her middle school. The thrill of that was kinda taken away by the fact that she was in college now. Besides—no classes to skip right now. Even when she was in class, though, back then, she’d barely ever paid attention. Most of the time she’d been almost cartoonishly distracted, always counting down the seconds left on the clock, always making her classmates laugh with some half-whispered joke, or hunched over her own notebook doodling—</p><p>Doodling. Drawing. Yeah, she’d done a lot of that.</p><p>Most of it had just been in the margins of her notebooks and textbooks, done with a nubby little #2 pencil. She remembered that she’d always been jealous of the other girls in her grade who liked to draw. A lot of them had nice, fancy sketchpads and expensive pens that they used during the lunch break. Catra had swiped many of those pens from them over the years, but she’d never been able to pull off stealing something as big as a sketchbook. So, she’d made do with what she had.</p><p>She remembered having the vague dream of becoming an artist, way back when. But she’d dropped it pretty quick. Artists didn’t have much money, and she wanted that, and besides, she could never actually become a real artist if she didn’t have any money to begin with—the money to buy sketchbooks and fancy pens.</p><p>But, hey.  She was an adult now. She had money. Not a lot of it, —God, she wished—but still.</p><p>No one was going to lecture her. No one was skulking in the shadows, ready to calmly tear her to shreds about her life choices. If Catra wanted to buy a sketchbook, then, goddammit, she could buy a damn sketchbook!</p><p>Before she could talk herself out of it, for one reason or another, Catra shrugged on her leather jacket, plus a hoodie for good measure, grabbed her keys, and marched out of her dorm and onto the cold, winding sidewalks of BMU. She knew there was a craft store somewhere this way—that was a good bet for art supplies, right?</p><p>It turned out she was right. She didn’t even need to ask an employee for help finding them, thank God. She grabbed a pretty big one off the shelf, nine by twelve inches. It was cheaper than she expected, but still wasn’t doing her wallet any favors. She bypassed the expensive pens she saw to look for something more…economical.</p><p>She ended up walking out of the store with the sketchbook and a pack of “professional” drawing pencils. They were elegant looking, even though they were labeled with letters and numbers Catra didn’t understand. She’d google it.</p><p>She got back to her dorm room, sat down at her desk, fished out a random pencil from the little box they came in, opened the sketchbook and… stared. She stared for maybe five minutes, maybe fifteen, graphite tip poised and hovering over paper, but with no direction or goal.</p><p>The paper felt sacred. Not just anything could go on there—this was a luxury she couldn’t waste.</p><p>This was a moment she couldn’t waste. This was her living out her thirteen-year-old self’s dream, a dream of independence, freedom, and indulgence for indulgence’s sake.</p><p>Indulgence.</p><p>Catra narrowed her eyes. Well, if this was going to be what she’d wanted back then, the ability to draw what she wanted without material limits…Why did it matter what she drew? Anything would do, right?</p><p>Catra scratched her chin, eyes lazily tracing her bare dorm for inspiration. A flicker of movement caught her eye—it came from outside her window. Catra straightened up, craned her neck slightly, and saw two birds in the volleyball court again. Maybe they were the same as the birds from earlier. Maybe they weren’t. Either way, Catra’s pencil hit the paper. She did her best to draw from life, even though the birds were moving way too fast to accurately copy.</p><p>A few minutes later, she leaned back to get a good look at her work.</p><p>It sucked.</p><p>That wasn’t surprising. She hadn’t done any serious drawing in a few years, and it wasn’t like she’d ever taken any kind of formal art lessons.</p><p>Oh well. When Catra had made up her mind on something, she was nothing if not stubborn.</p><p>She turned to the next page, and started again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>And again.</p><p>With each attempt, Catra’s sketchy lines became slightly more focused, a little less shaky. Her shapes became less blob-ish and more defined. If nothing else, you could at least tell what she was trying to draw.</p><p>Eventually, the birds outside the window flew away altogether. Catra shrugged and opened her laptop, googling a quick reference photo to use. This was easier—pictures didn’t move, and all she had to do was try to transfer what she saw on the screen to paper.</p><p>It was easier said than done, of course. Catra worked and re-worked attempt after attempt, finally starting to hit her groove. Her wrist was loose and relaxed while the reference slowly burned itself into her focused eyes.</p><p>Time passed quickly like this. Bright, midday sun overhead melted into a lazy, amber afternoon. Sometime around  3 PM, she was struck with how quiet her room was, and she plugged in her headphones to listen to some music.</p><p>It took many tries, and many pieces of paper from the sketchbook, but finally, Catra was left with something that she was somewhat happy with. She got up and stretched, shaking her sore wrist and scratching her back. She peered out her window and, holy shit, was it dark already?</p><p>Water. Food. Sleep. Those things sounded good, in that order. She was surprisingly tired, for not having done anything that day. Well, besides confessing the secret that had been weighing on her since before she’d even come to BMU. Right—she’d almost forgotten about that.</p><p>Catra took a glass from where it was sitting on a bookshelf and walked to the bathroom, filling it up from the sink. She gulped it down greedily and filled it up again, placing it on her desk. She grabbed something to eat from the sparse pickings in her minifridge, making a mental note to go grocery shopping tomorrow.</p><p>She was calm—at least, calmer than she’d expected to be after last night. Her mind seemed to have said its peace, at least for now. She chanced another look at the drawing she’d made, and, yeah, that wasn’t half bad for being the product of several hours’ work.</p><p>Carefully, very carefully, Catra tore the perforated line that connected the paper to the sketchbook, freeing it. She grasped it delicately between her fingertips, claws sheathed so they wouldn’t puncture it accidentally.</p><p>What should she do with it?</p><p>Catra considered the question for a few moments before having an idea. She walked over to Scorpia’s desk on the other side of the room and rifled through the drawer she knew contained all her roommate’s miscellaneous office supplies. Bingo.</p><p>Catra took the thumbtack in one hand and her drawing in the other, then carefully mounted her bed’s ladder, crawling over her sheets to the wall on the other side. She rose on her knees and carefully positioned the paper, then drove the thumbtack through it, pinning it in place. She leapt off her bed and stepped away from it to consider what she’d done.</p><p>It felt silly. A little childish. But, hey, no one had to see it. Not for three weeks, at least. And she could take it down before anyone had the chance.</p><p>Until then, it was something to fill the crushingly empty void of her room. A wry smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.</p><p>Catra changed into some pajamas and burrowed into her blankets. She scrolled aimlessly on her phone for a few minutes, then went to her messages. She sent a new text to Adora.</p><p>
  <em>lunch tomorrow?</em>
</p><p>She quickly went back to her browser to try to take her mind off the nervous tightness in her stomach.</p><p>A few minutes later, she got her response.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>sure! hope you’re feeling better :)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra let out a breath and smiled.</p><p>
  <em>yeah, i am</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Catra spent a lot of time drawing during the rest of winter break.</p><p>She also spent a lot of time around Adora.</p><p>She figured the former was probably her way of coping with the latter.</p><p>She was supposed to be on vacation, for God’s sake, but there was nothing relaxing about being with Adora. She liked Adora’s presence—craved it, even—but in the way little kids can’t help but look at the sun, or press their hands against searing-hot windows in the summertime. She was irresistibly drawn to Adora—to the passion in her eyes, to the warm, rich timbre of her voice, to her, well, everything, really. But sometimes, it got too much. She had to look away, to pull back.</p><p>Whenever that happened, she couldn’t help but think back to that party in October. Back to the cold realization that she’d been hurting Adora with her distance.</p><p>She didn’t want to hurt Adora. She was trying to be there for Adora. Especially during those three weeks, when she knew Adora was alone but too…<em>Adora </em>to admit she was lonely.</p><p>It was exhilarating. And exhausting. Her mind was always juggling so much around Adora. She was flustered, because holy-shit-pretty-girl; she was nervous because, shit-her-fucking-soulmate; and she was guilty as hell, because, <em>shit</em>-her-fucking-soulmate.</p><p>Drawing gave her time to breathe, and time to take all those troublesome thoughts and shove them into the furthest corners of her mind so that when she was with Adora, she could focus on the most important thing—being her friend.</p><p>(Not that Catra would ever admit to “friendship” being one of her priorities. But, hell, with Sparkles and Arrow Boy gone, someone had to pick up the slack.)</p><p>Catra got herself into a little routine over winter break. She’d wake up whenever she wanted, roll out of bed, grab lunch with Adora, take up as much space as possible in the luxuriously empty dining hall, and talk with her, sometimes for hours at a time.</p><p>Most of the time, they talked about random bullshit. They swapped funny stories about their classes, jobs they had, their childhood. Anything was good enough for them. Catra found herself sharing more about her day-to-to life, her thoughts, and her past with Adora than she ever had with anyone else, even Scorpia. Whatever. If she had to tell the embarrassing story from some incident in eighth grade that she’d sworn she’d take to the grave to get Adora to smile, well. So be it.</p><p>Sometimes, their conversations were more serious.</p><p>They talked about their lives as foster kids, comparing their often similar (and sometimes damn near identical) experiences. They talked about their long-term goals—both of them knew they’d need more than a bachelor’s in their field of choice, and both were more than a little daunted by that prospect. It was nice to hear that someone shared her fears, even if Adora seemed slightly more put together when it came to her “game plan.” As much as Catra joked about Adora being a walking disaster sometimes, she was impressed with her ambition and determination to succeed.</p><p>Catra remembered one conversation in particular that had struck her, one that they had around two weeks into break.</p><p>Snow had finally come to Bright Moon, and, apparently, when it came, it came with a vengeance. It had started coming down just after Adora and Catra had met at the dining hall—maybe 1 PM? Now, it was only 4 PM, but it had already piled almost waist-high (or, at least, waist-high for Catra, who was of totally average height, so if Bow and Adora would quit calling her fun-sized that’d be real nice) and showed no signs of stopping. It was no surprise that Adora and Catra lingered for so long after finishing their food—who in their right minds would want to brave that?</p><p>No, it was much nicer to stay in the warm, heated dining hall, listening to howling winds outside from behind the safety of the windows.</p><p>Fun stories turned to foster stories turned to career talk turned to what Adora told her next.</p><p>“Don’t get me wrong, I love my major,” Adora had said. “And I really do want to be a doctor to help people, obviously.” She traced the rim of her plastic cup with her finger. “But that’s not the only reason I’m doing it. I want a job that pays good money, too. When I was a kid, I always told myself that I’d adopt one day. You know. Help someone like I wanted to be helped. Care for someone like I—” She stopped, and smiled softly, looking through the window. It didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I still want that, and, well. Gotta provide somehow.”</p><p>Catra just nodded wordlessly. Having a family, kids, had never really crossed her mind before—not in a very long time, at least. But, God, she knew that she and Adora were only 19, and she knew that she’d only known Adora for a year, and, yeah, she knew that she hadn’t told Adora about the soulmate thing and maybe she never would, but the image of Adora, a mother, with a child (their child,) protecting them from the worst the world had to offer, in ways Catra had never known a parental figure to do—the thought of it drove the air from her lungs, leaving her absolutely speechless.</p><p>Catra took a sip of her coffee, blushing so hard she felt like she was melting under her fur, and hoped Adora didn’t notice her quiet, lovesick sigh into her mug.</p><p>In those three weeks, one of the only “big” topics that never seemed to come up was the topic of soulmates. Catra wondered if Adora was avoiding it on purpose—she wouldn’t be surprised, after how their last conversation about them had gone.</p><p>She wasn’t sure how to feel about that. She knew that part of her was relieved. But, deep down, she felt like a part of her wanted Adora to bring it up. To push the topic. To force the truth out of Catra, to take the choice away.</p><p>Still, she never brought it up herself. As much as the desire to talk about it itched uncontrollably under her skin.</p><p>Instead, every day, when Catra and Adora went their separate ways, Catra would return to her dorm room, still flushed and wired and tense, and she’d pick up her pencil and start sketching something—anything—until her ruffled fur smoothed, her pulse calmed, and her thoughts stilled.</p><p>By the end of break, Catra had almost completely covered her wall with her best work. It hurt more that she’d thought it would to take it all down, but she couldn’t keep them up. So, she plucked all the thumbtacks off her wall and shuffled the papers into a neat little pile and put them in a drawer, safe from prying eyes.</p><p>…</p><p>In the first week of January, her friends came back to BMU. They all arrived at different times and on different days, but by the night before classes started, they’d all gotten to Bright Moon safe and sound.</p><p>That night, Catra was curled up in bed, hiding her sketchbook from Scorpia while she practiced shading some spheres, when she got a text from Glimmer.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>hey were going bowling to ring in the new semester</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>bring scorpia</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>The message didn’t leave any room for argument. Not that Catra would’ve said no—it would be nice to see Glimmer and Bow again, and this way she didn’t have to admit that she’d missed them. She closed her sketchbook and threw it haphazardly on her desk. “Hey, Scorpia. Wanna come bowling with Glimmer and the rest?”</p><p>Scorpia’s head shot up. “Sure!” She slid off her bed and slipped into a pair of shoes. “Can Perfuma come?”</p><p>Catra hesitated. “Uh, I guess. I don’t see why not.”</p><p>“Cool!” Scorpia pulled out her phone and began tapping away with her pincers.</p><p>“Scorpia?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Just… Tell her not to say anything about… You know. In front of anyone.” She shifted uneasily on her feet.</p><p>Scorpia nodded gravely. “Of course, Wildcat. I promise, our lips are sealed. She and I will guard your secret with our very lives!”</p><p>Thirty minutes later, and Catra was worried that Scorpia and Perfuma’s faces alone would do all the talking necessary.</p><p>She, Scorpia, and Perfuma had decided to meet Glimmer, Adora, and Bow at the bowling alley—a little place at the edge of campus that smelled like stale beer and processed cheese. Catra and the two of them had gotten there first and were waiting in the reception area when the others came through the sliding door.</p><p>Catra greeted them in her usual aloof way.</p><p>Scorpia and Perfuma, on the other hand, were anything but normal. The two of them had plastered bright, too-wide smiles on their faces that they paired with robotic, bone-crushing hugs.</p><p>Glimmer patted Scorpia on the back, grimacing. She glanced at Catra. <em>What the fuck?</em></p><p>Catra just shrugged. She hoped her expression was more neutral than it felt.</p><p>On the way to the register, while Glimmer, Bow, and Adora chatted and caught up, she elbowed Scorpia in the side. “Act natural,” she hissed.</p><p>Scorpia smiled sheepishly. Perfuma gave her a thumbs-up and a wink.</p><p>Once they were set up at their lane, the six of them decided an order to play in. Catra volunteered to go last, masking it with her typical apathy. Really, she’d just never been bowling before. Perks of living with Shadow Weaver. Maybe she’d get the hang of it faster if she watched the others go first.</p><p>Adora, Glimmer, and Bow all seemed to do okay. Catra carefully watched their forms, hoping to gain some insight. Apparently, though, it was Perfuma she really needed to copy. She bowled fourth, and absolutely smoked everyone who’d gone before her. Catra would’ve been impressed, if she wasn’t too busy fuming about the now very real possibility that she was going to be beaten by Ms. Mommy-Blogger.</p><p>Scorpia was up next. She grasped the ball between her pincers and furrowed her brow in concentration. She swung her arm back and forth a few times without releasing the ball before she turned back to the group. “Geez, I’ve actually never done this before. Do you think any of you could give me some pointers?”</p><p>“Of course, darling.”</p><p>Catra watched as Perfuma slid behind Scorpia, taking her girlfriend’s wrist in her hands. She murmured instructions in Scorpia’s ear, too soft for Catra to make out, drew back Scorpia’s arms, and then brought it forward. Scorpia released the ball. It rolled down the wooden lane and struck a decent number of pins.</p><p>Adora, Bow, and Glimmer cheered. Perfuma sat back down. Scorpia rolled her second ball—this one didn’t hit anything, but she still seemed pretty pleased with herself.</p><p>That meant Catra was up next. She rose from her seat, stretching nonchalantly, and strolled over to the weird machine that balls kept popping out of. She paused, fingers fluttering over them as if she knew what the different colors and numbers meant, like she was actually making a choice, and then grabbed one at random.</p><p>She took her place in front of the wooden lane and angled her body the way she’d seen the rest of them do it. She took a deep breath, swung her arm back, and—</p><p>Oh. Oh no.</p><p>The ball went in the complete wrong direction, for starters, bee-lining towards the gutter. It also turned out that Catra had put way too much force behind it. She realized that when the ball jumped the gutter, and a divider (or two or three,) bouncing its way across several lanes before finally coming to a stop almost halfway across the bowling alley.</p><p>Catra blinked. She waited for someone to yell at her, but it never came. All she heard in the mostly empty bowling alley was the constant <em>whir </em>of machinery. She turned back to her friends. They stared blankly at her.</p><p>“Catra,” Bow said. “Have—have you bowled before?”</p><p>Catra shook her head.</p><p>Bow nodded. “Uh, okay. Perfuma? Do you think you could help her out a bit?”</p><p>Perfuma started to say something, then snapped her mouth shut and grabbed one of Scorpia’s pincers. “Actually, we were just about to go get something to eat at the snack bar before our turns.”</p><p>“We were?”</p><p>“Yes,” Perfuma said. “We were.” Her eyes roamed over everyone else’s faces. “Oh! I know! Adora, do you think you could help Catra while we’re gone?”</p><p>Catra glared at Perfuma, thankful that everyone’s backs were to her. Perfuma smiled back encouragingly.  </p><p>“Uh, sure,” Adora said, rubbing the back of her neck. She turned back to Catra, who quickly schooled her expression. “Just don’t expect me to be as good as Perfuma is,” she joked.</p><p>Perfuma and Scorpia wandered off towards the snack bar. Catra sighed. “All right,” she said. “Show me how it’s done.”</p><p>Adora moved behind Catra and gingerly grabbed her wrist—exactly what Perfuma had done, although Adora was more hesitant. And kept a fair bit more distance between them. Still, she was close enough that Catra could feel the warmth of her body behind her. She swallowed and wiped her free hand on her leg.</p><p>“Obviously, you shouldn’t, uh, throw it so hard?” Adora said. “I mean, I’m sure you realized that already and everything, just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”</p><p>Catra nodded. Her ear twitched at slight puff of Adora’s breath on the back of her neck.</p><p>Adora moved closer. She rested her other hand lightly on Catra’s waist. Two points of contact now—Catra clenched her jaw to keep from tensing noticeably at the touch.</p><p>Adora guided her arm back. “Let’s do a couple of practice throws, yeah? Try to keep your aim straight.”</p><p>They swung their joined arms up and down a few times. Catra reminded herself to breathe.</p><p>“Alright, next time let’s throw for real. Don’t wait so long too long to let the ball go; let it go when your hand’s near the ground.”</p><p>They swung again. Catra released the ball.</p><p>It wasn’t a great shot. It went straight to the gutter. But, hell, anything was better than that first throw.</p><p>Adora stepped away quickly after that, positioning herself a few feet away. She put her hands on her hips and shook her head, smiling. “Darn. Thought I’d be a better teacher than that, at least.”</p><p>“Don’t sweat it, Adora!” Glimmer called from her seat. “I think Catra’s just a bit… distracted!”</p><p>Adora frowned, cocking her head. Catra walked back to her seat, doing her best not to react to the taunt. Still, her tail lashed as she passed a self-satisfied Glimmer.</p><p>Adora started to sit down too, until Bow reminded her it was her turn.</p><p>Just a few moments later, Perfuma and Scorpia returned. They had a vaguely conspiratorial air to them. Catra just tilted her head up to lean against the back of her seat and shut her eyes.</p><p>Why did the Universe hate her so damn much? Why had everyone turned on her? When would she rest?</p><p>“Hey. Catra.”</p><p>Catra cracked an eye. Perfuma was offering her something—a large, fluffy, salted pretzel. She had an apologetic smile on her face.</p><p>Catra huffed but grabbed the pretzel.</p><p>A week after bowling, when she and Perfuma finally met to “start working on Catra’s self-worth,” she gave Perfuma a piece of her mind. She took her complaints calmly—frustratingly calmly.</p><p>“I needed to see how you acted around Adora,” she said. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to get an accurate reading on how you feel about her.’</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Catra said. “Pray tell, what invaluable information did you gather from that?”</p><p>Perfuma looked at her. “You wouldn’t want to hear it. Not yet, at least,” she added, pensive. “Now get back to your breathing exercises.”</p><p>Catra did the dumb breathing exercises. And the weird affirmations. And she…chatted. With Perfuma.</p><p>It was surprisingly easy to talk to her. It was mostly about what she did over the break—the few things she did over break. She talked about getting the sketchbook, about starting to draw. She talked about seeing Adora every day, about their lunches.</p><p>She almost told Perfuma about The Conversation. She almost told her about the accompanying image of Adora, doting mother, that felt like it had been glued to the back of her eyelids every night when she tried to go to sleep. She didn’t mean to say anything—it just nearly slipped out, like it was trying to claw its way to the surface the same way her secret had. She barely stopped herself in time.</p><p>She left Perfuma’s apartment not long after that, coming back to her room frazzled and badly needing a break. She sat at her desk and opened her sketchbook, letting her pencil lull her thoughts away until all that was left was a page full of delicate, swirling flowers. When she was done, she tore it out and shoved it in her drawer with the rest, securely out of sight.</p><p>…</p><p>In February, the Best Friend Squad celebrated Valentine’s Day together.</p><p>Well, they celebrated the day after Valentine’s Day, to be more precise.</p><p>After classes were over, they raided the convenience store for any of the left-over half-off candy, then squirrelled away in Glimmer and Adora’s dorm to watch as many rom coms as they could.</p><p>Glimmer and Bow were as cuddly as ever. Bow needed a lot of comfort during these movies—it was a good thing he had his best friend and many, many boxes of tissues by his side.</p><p>On the tv screen, another couple confessed their undying love and kissed. They grasped each other’s hands, palm-to-palm—that was where their soulmarks were. Bow blew his nose and squeezed Glimmer tighter. “It’s just…so cute!” He sniffled. “Fate brought them together again!”</p><p>“There, there.” Glimmer patted his shoulder. “Another tissue?”</p><p>“Please!”</p><p>Adora and Catra, on the other hand, weren’t paying any attention to the movie. They were having a very serious conversation.</p><p>“I can’t believe you don’t like chocolate,” Adora said. “Like, how is that even possible?”</p><p>Catra shrugged. “It’s too rich. It’s not my thing.”</p><p>“But it’s chocolate!” Adora looked horrified. She shook her head, disbelieving. “There’s no way you’re human.”</p><p>“Uh, princess?” Catra flicked her tail across Adora’s cheek teasingly. “Forgetting something?”</p><p>Adora narrowed her eyes, but her frown quickly broke into a smile. “Fine,” she said. “You’re not a human and you don’t like chocolate. But you could’ve said something.” She pouted exaggeratedly and flopped over, looking up at Catra. “I’m sure we could’ve found something at the store that wasn’t chocolate.”</p><p>“Trust me. Getting to see Arrow Boy over there lose his mind over these movies is a treat all on its own.”</p><p>“Hey!” Bow said, his voice cracking. “These are classics! You guys are just heartless!”</p><p>On the screen, the end credits started rolling. Glimmer grabbed the remote. “Time to find the next one.”</p><p>Back over on the other side of the room, Adora gazed pleadingly up at Catra. “Just have one piece?” she asked. “Maybe you’ll like it.”</p><p>Catra sighed. “If I do, will you quit looking at me like that?”</p><p>Adora nodded.</p><p>“Alright then.”</p><p>Adora shot up and rifled around in the sheets behind her. She pulled out a bag of sticky, half-melted chocolates and held it out to Catra.</p><p>Catra rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She plucked a piece out of the bag and popped it into her mouth.</p><p>It wasn’t any better than she remembered. She had half a mind to say as much, to snark at Adora’s taste in candy the same way she bantered with the “Best Friend Squad” about almost everything. She turned to Adora, mouth open to give some quippy, barbed comment, but the words died on her tongue when she saw the look on Adora’s face.</p><p>It was just so… earnest. So sincere. She was hopeful—Catra could see that in the slight crease between her eyebrows, in the wrinkles of her smile, in the way she was leaned forward in anticipation. The low light of the dorm was hitting her grey-ish eyes in a way that made them look like warm, liquid silver, and they were fixed on Catra’s face, waiting for her reaction. Catra’s breath caught in her throat.</p><p>“It’s good,” she finally said.</p><p>Adora punched the air. “Knew it!” She put the whole bag in Catra’s lap. “There you go!”</p><p>Catra shuffled on the bed, drawing her knees in closer and inching slightly away from Adora. “Thanks.”</p><p>A voice came from the other side of the room: “Oh, this one sounds neat!”</p><p>Catra’s ears twitched and she peered over at Glimmer, who was tapping her chin thoughtfully, curled up against Bow’s side. She looked at Adora and Catra. “What do you guys think?”</p><p>Catra glanced at the tv screen. She screwed up her nose at the title: “Mark-Crossed Lovers.” Ugh. Who the hell came up with that?</p><p>“A young woman must decide what to do: to follow her heart and stay with the man of her dreams, or to search for her mysterious, star-shaped mark,” Adora read. She frowned. “Sounds heavy.”</p><p>“Sounds cheesy,” Catra added.</p><p>Glimmer shrugged. “I think it’s interesting.”</p><p>There was silence for a few beats. Catra fished another chocolate out of the bag and swallowed it as quickly as she could.</p><p>Glimmer piped up again: “Do you guys think you could ever do that? Commit to someone who isn’t your soulmate?”</p><p>The four of them looked at each other.</p><p> Bow spoke up first, shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I mean, your soulmate is supposed to be perfect for you, right? Would anyone else even compare?”</p><p>Glimmer propped her head on her elbow contemplatively. “But we all love people who aren’t our soulmates,” she said. “We love our families, and our friends. What if that love just happened to be romantic? Would you give that up just because it’s the way things are supposed to be?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Bow said. “I think so. I mean, the way that my dads are with each other... you've heard about them. They're amazing, but…They get each other in way I don't think anyone else could. That’s what I want one day. You don’t get that sort of thing with someone who’s not your soulmate. So I don’t think I could ever get into a relationship if I didn’t know that they were…it. You know?”</p><p>Glimmer frowned and sat up. For the first time all evening, there was empty space between her Bow. Catra watched Bow’s hand shoot out instinctively to steady her, but Glimmer shifted subtly out of reach.</p><p>“How about you, Adora?” Glimmer asked.</p><p>Adora jolted. “Huh? Me?”</p><p>“Yeah. Do you think you could settle down with someone who isn’t your soulmate?”</p><p>Adora chewed her lip. Catra watched her carefully.</p><p>“Seems like a kinda impossible question,” Adora said. “I’m not sure what I would do.” She paused. “I don’t think I could.”</p><p>The pressure in Catra’s chest loosened. She released the death grip she had on Adora’s comforter—she hadn't even realized she'd been doing it.</p><p>“Why not?” Glimmer asked, cocking her head.</p><p>Adora shrugged. “It’d be hard, I guess, if I really loved them,” she said. “I don’t think I’d want to give it up. But, I mean, they have a soulmate out there somewhere too, right?” She frowned. “I wouldn’t ever want to come between them or anything.”</p><p>Glimmer hummed thoughtfully. “Catra? How about you?”</p><p>Catra hesitated. She figured it was a lot harder to answer this question when you weren’t dealing with hypotheticals—when your soulmate was sitting right next you, gazing at you curiously, waiting for your response.</p><p>“Why not?” she finally said, choosing her words carefully. “Plenty of people don’t end up with their soulmates, and they’re…fine. Why bother waiting for the Universe to quit jerking you around when you could just. Y’know. Do it?”</p><p>Glimmer nodded. “For once, I think we agree one something,” she joked. It did little to cut the tension in the room.</p><p>Bow looked confused. And a little hurt. He’d straightened up and was now sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Glimmer, an unprecedented chasm between them. Glimmer, for her part, hadn’t even looked at Bow since he’d given his answer. Adora’s eyes were flickering between her two friends, like she knew something was off but couldn’t quite tell why.</p><p>Catra had an idea or two why.</p><p>She swallowed and pretended to stretch, then checked the time on her phone. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s already so late. I should probably be heading out.”</p><p>“Me too,” said Bow.</p><p>Catra’s eyebrows rose. Even though Bow lived in the same building as Adora and Glimmer, she’d never seen him leave after a movie night. Normally, he just slept over on Glimmer’s bed.</p><p>“Cool,” Glimmer said.</p><p>Bow and Catra both leapt down to the floor. Bow bee-lined for the door, slipping out with a small wave and a “Bye.”</p><p>Catra, on the other hand, took her time sealing the bag of chocolates Adora had given her. She and Glimmer made eye contact. She tried her best to give her a sympathetic look.</p><p>“Well, night,” she said. “See you guys tomorrow.”</p><p>Before she could move to the door, though, Adora called after her. “Wait!”</p><p>Catra looked at her expectantly. Adora’s eyebrows were drawn in concern. “It’s late for you to be walking all the way back to your dorm. Wanna stay the night?”</p><p>Catra was struck with déjà vu. She glanced at Glimmer. “That alright with you, Sparkles?” Her tone lacked its usual bite.</p><p>Glimmer nodded, sliding off her bed. “I’m gonna go take a shower,” she said. “See you guys in the morning.”</p><p>She made her way towards the bathroom. As she passed, Catra surreptitiously flicked her tail against her arm in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.</p><p>Once Glimmer was gone, Catra looked up at Adora. She expected her to throw a pillow and a blanket down for her, but instead, Adora just patted the space next to her on the bed, her face unreadable.</p><p>Before she could talk herself out of it, Catra leapt into the bed.</p><p>It was a little bit awkward. The bed was tight, and it was hard to find a position where she wasn’t touching Adora but was still comfortable. Adora was out almost instantly, but it took Catra much longer to fall asleep.</p><p>Adora was just so warm.</p><p>Catra felt like she was burning up under her fur. She wanted to rip the covers off of her, to run outside to the chill of winter, but she found herself glued in place, transfixed by the gentle sound of Adora’s breathing and the sight of Adora’s peaceful, shadowy form.</p><p>At some point, she didn’t know how, she drifted off.</p><p>Early the next day, when light was just barely starting to peek through the window, she woke up. She shut her eyes tight. Ugh. Mornings.</p><p>The sound of shuffling came from the other side of the room. Catra registered how cold she was—Adora was up. She must have been going for her daily run.</p><p>Footsteps moved towards the door, then hesitated. They made their way back towards the bed, back towards Catra. She feigned sleep, barely breathing.</p><p>Heat. A ghost of heat, hovering just above her face. Fingertips? Catra’s heart stuttered in her chest.</p><p>The touch whispered over her skin, brushing a bit of errant hair back into place. Then, it was gone, and the footsteps were gone, the door quietly clicking back into place as Adora left.</p><p>A few minutes later, Catra crawled out of the bed, wondering if she’d imagined the whole thing. She quietly left the dorm, doing her best to not wake Glimmer up.</p><p>The walk back to her place was a blur. When she got to her own room, Scorpia wasn’t there—she’d probably stayed the night at Perfuma’s apartment. Catra sagged against her door and scrubbed a hand over her face, buzzing with energy despite the early hour.</p><p>Calm. She needed calm.</p><p>She opened her sketchbook and she drew. She did it mindlessly, on autopilot, just trying to get all these thoughts and these feeling back where they belonged. For a while, it seemed like it was working. She zoned out for, well, who knows how long before she finally stopped. She let her pencil rest on the paper and slumped over her desk, pressing her flushed face against the cool wood. She closed her eyes for a few beats. Her heart stopped racing. Her breaths were deep and slow.</p><p>She straightened up to take a look at what she’d drawn, and—uh oh.</p><p>That was the sword. Her sword (her and Adora’s sword.) The sword sprawled across her back.</p><p>Catra groaned and pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes.  </p><p>She almost tossed it. Almost ripped it up so no one would ever see it.</p><p>She couldn’t make herself do it. She put it with the rest of her drawings, reverently gliding her thumb over the paper’s rough surface.</p><p>An echoing, phantom sensation dragged over her cheek, right where Adora had (maybe) touched her that same morning.</p><p>Exhausted, Catra burrowed into her own bed. It felt colder and emptier than it had ever felt before.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>phew! this is the longest chapter so far—what a ride!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next month or so was… difficult.</p><p>Glimmer and Bow began to avoid each other. Or, to be clearer, Glimmer started avoiding Bow—making excuses why she couldn’t eat with the rest of the Best Friend Squad, or come to study sessions, or do anything if Bow was going to be involved, really.</p><p>Bow was sad and confused at first, then angry—why couldn’t she just <em>tell </em>him what was going on, —and finally, resigned.</p><p>Adora and Catra were, unfortunately, caught in the middle. Their unspoken strategy was to divide and conquer.</p><p>Adora was worried about her roommate. She told Catra as much, over their many late-night text conversations during that month when they hardly saw each other. She began to stick to Glimmer like glue, doing her best to make sure she wasn’t alone.</p><p>Catra, for her part, spent most of her time with Bow, offering him her quiet, passive support. Though she’d never admit it, she figured he could use a friend. More importantly, she understood Glimmer’s reluctance to talk to Bow all too well, and she knew if she were one-on-one with Glimmer, she might strangle her.</p><p>It would be a little hypocritical of her.</p><p>So, Glimmer hung out with Adora, and Bow hung out with Catra, and all the while the two of them orbited each other on the BMU campus like a couple of dejected, drifting satellites.</p><p>It was tough. Catra missed Adora—and that was a new feeling.</p><p>Catra wasn’t sure if she’d ever been fond enough of something in her life to miss it. Foster homes? Each was about as shitty as the next. Schools were the same way. She’d never made any friends that she’d had to leave behind; most of the people on Catra’s life had been just a blur of replaceable, generic faces. Nothing to mourn. Nothing to long for.</p><p>Adora was different. And Catra thought Adora might have missed her too.</p><p>One evening she and Bow were sitting in the dining hall studying for midterms. Well, Bow was studying for midterms. Catra was picking at her food and nodding like she understood whenever Bow threw some weird Physics terminology at her.</p><p>Catra was looking over Bow’s shoulder at the other side of the room when she saw one of the doors open and shut. Uh oh. Glimmer and Adora.</p><p>Catra quickly looked away. She tuned back into Bow’s words, struggling to not give anything away. It wasn’t a big deal. This was a big dining hall, and, besides, the weather was finally starting to get nice. Maybe Glimmer and Adora would sit outside? Far, far out of Bow’s sight.</p><p>Five minutes later, Glimmer proudly marched herself and Adora past Bow and Catra and sat down at a table no more than ten feet away. Catra saw the exact moment Bow caught sight of Glimmer—and saw the way his head turned to follow her before he came to his senses and looked back at his computer.</p><p>Catra took a deliberate sip of her water. Christ, who needed food? The tension in this room was thick enough to chew on its own.</p><p>As she drank, she felt the weight of a gaze on her from across the room. She subtly glanced over, expecting it to be Glimmer looking oh-so-longingly at Bow or something, but instead, it was Adora. Catra raised an eyebrow and Adora started, straightening suddenly in her chair. Catra narrowed her eyes. <em>Don’t get caught acknowledging our existence, dummy.</em></p><p>At least Glimmer looked like she was distracted ranting about something. Adora waved. Catra carefully waved back, hoping Bow couldn’t see the movement over his screen.</p><p>Catra turned back to her plate. This fucking sucked.</p><p>On the table, her phone vibrated. A text from Adora.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>this sucks</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra smiled.</p><p>
  <em>wow</em>
</p><p>
  <em>for once, i think you might be right</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>haha</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>seriously though</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>i wish glimmer weren’t so stubborn sometimes</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>it feels like i haven’t seen you in forever :(</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra looked up from her phone. She and Adora made eye contact again. She shot Adora a rare comforting smile.</p><p>
  <em>dont worry princess</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i don’t think they’ll be able to keep this up much longer</em>
</p><p>
  <em>… </em>
</p><p>Catra was right, as always (at least, she told herself that.)</p><p>A week or so later, she, Glimmer, and Bow were back at BMU’s soccer stadium, watching Adora’s team face off against CWU for the championship.</p><p>It was a wary truce. There had been hardly any chit-chat at all when they’d been waiting in line earlier, and the silence had been downright disturbing coming from two of the loudest, friendliest people Catra knew. Once they got into the stadium, Catra had to sit in between Bow and Glimmer as a barrier, steadfastly ignoring the pining glances they kept shooting each other behind her back throughout the game.</p><p>At half-time, she got up to get something to drink. Somewhere in the back of her mind she kept hearing Perfuma’s voice lecturing her about her hydration levels. Hopefully this would shut her up.</p><p>She came back and the two of them were kissing.</p><p>She blinked. “Uh, hi?”</p><p>They sprang apart, red-faced and stuttering.</p><p>Glimmer shot to her feet, making room for Catra to walk past her and retake her seat.</p><p>Catra shook her head. “Just scoot over, Sparkles.”</p><p>So, Glimmer sat next to Bow, and Catra sat in the aisle seat, and no one said anything about the way Bow and Glimmer held hands through the rest of the game.</p><p>BMU won by a hair. Adora scored the winning goal.</p><p>After any other game, swept up in endorphins and the energy of the crowd, the three of them would probably end up at an after party. Instead, as soon as it was over, Glimmer and Bow were out of their seats, muscling their way through the swarm of students blocking their path out of the stadium. Catra followed with some difficulty. She texted Adora:</p><p>
  <em>congrats on the win ms jock</em>
</p><p>
  <em>dont think were gonna make it to any celebrations tho</em>
</p><p>She attached a picture of Glimmer and Bow’s conjoined hands.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>!!!</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>omg :O theyre talking again???</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>its worse</em>
</p><p>
  <em>theyre making out</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>WHAT</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>CATRA</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em><br/>
EXPLAIN</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>…</p><p>The next morning, the whole Best Friends Squad met for brunch at the dining hall. Glimmer and Bow sat side-by-side, hand-in-hand.</p><p>“So,” Bow began, scratching his neck. “Uh, apparently, Glimmer and I are soulmates.”</p><p>Catra hummed and raised an eyebrow. “Interesting,” she said. She smiled. “So, how’d you guys figure that out?”</p><p>The two of them flushed. Bow coughed into his elbow, hiding his face. Glimmer glared at Catra. “Can you ever just… not?”</p><p>Catra shrugged. “What’s fun in that?”</p><p>Under the table, Catra’s tail lightly skirted over Glimmer’s wrist. The two of them made surprisingly affectionate eye contact.</p><p>“Well, congrats, I guess,” Catra said. “Good for you two or whatever. As long as you’re using protection.”</p><p>Glimmer and Bow choked on their food in impressive unison. Maybe that was a soulmate power. Catra glanced at Adora, first smiling, then frowning.</p><p>Adora seemed to be in her own world. She was looking not quite at Bow and Glimmer, but rather, past them with an impressive thousand-yard stare.</p><p>“Uh, Earth to Adora?”</p><p>Adora blinked. Her brow furrowed, but she grinned anyways—it rang hollow. “Yeah, congrats you guys!”</p><p>Glimmer and Bow didn’t seem to notice her unease. They were too wrapped up in their own world. Jeez, they’d been bad before, but now? God damn. It might’ve been cute, if it wasn’t so disgustingly sappy.</p><p>Catra noticed, though. It confused her. Adora had been so eager to see those two work through their…issues. What was her deal?</p><p>Over the next week or so, Catra kept thinking Adora would go back to normal. She didn’t. She kept acting weird and shifty—especially whenever Bow and Glimmer got particularly mushy. Catra watched her behavior carefully. She always went so quiet—for Adora, that was strange and concerning. She’d draw her limbs in, closing herself off and tensing up. And she avoided eye contact—Catra couldn’t tell for sure if she was imagining things, but she thought Adora avoided looking at her, specifically. Maybe she only got that impression because she was the one watching her, though.</p><p>One night, Catra and Adora hung out by themselves for the first time in weeks, and Catra got some answers.</p><p>Bow and Glimmer were on a date—something romantic like stargazing and strolling around one of Bright Moon’s parks. Adora and Catra were in Catra’s dorm, sitting side-by-side on her bed. Something was playing on the tv, but neither of them were really paying any attention. Adora was lost in her thoughts, and Catra was worrying about Adora.</p><p>After a few minutes of watching Adora space out, Catra gave into her temptation to grill her about… whatever was going on.</p><p>“Hey.” She flicked Adora’s forehead with the tip of her tail. “What’s going on up there, princess?”</p><p>Adora jumped a little, startled. She and Catra locked gazes. “Uh…”</p><p>Catra raised her eyebrows, prompting her.</p><p>Adora shifted nervously. “Uh, nothing. Nothing going on up here.” She tapped her head with her finger.</p><p>“Give yourself some credit, dummy. I know there’s gotta be some brain activity, somewhere.” She narrowed her eyes. “And you’ve been acting weird ever since Bow and Glimmer got together. What gives?”</p><p>Adora wrung her hands. Her eyes darted around the room.</p><p>“Adora.”</p><p>Adora groaned and flopped over, her head landing in Catra’s lap. She pouted. “Do we have to talk about this?”</p><p>“Yep.” Catra said. “Now spill. I’ll even do my best Perfuma impression for you.”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Now, I’m gonna need to you to concentrate your negative emotions into your abdomen—”</p><p>“Catra—”</p><p>“Visualize it as a ball of dark energy—”</p><p>“Stop it—” Her words were shaky with effort to hold back her giggles.</p><p>“Now purge it from your body. Let it return to the balance of the universe.’ She shook Adora lightly by the shoulders. “Feel yourself being rid of negativity!”</p><p>Adora dissolved into laughter, batting weakly at her hands. “Oh my God, you’re the worst at this!”</p><p>“I’m the best at this.” Catra let her hands fall from Adora’s shoulders, loosely holding her in her arms. Adora shifted closer, still laughing.</p><p>“Ugh. You’re not usually this eager to talk about feelings.”</p><p>“Indulge me.”</p><p>“Fine.” Adora swallowed and looked up at the ceiling. After a few beats, she spoke again. “I guess, I don’t know, I’ve just been thinking… Don’t you think Glimmer and Bow have been moving kinda fast?”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“You know, they were just fighting for, like, a month! And now, they’re all over each other again and they’re dating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for them, but isn’t it kinda weird?”</p><p>Catra shrugged. “They’re soulmates. I’m not really surprised.”</p><p>Adora huffed. “That’s just the thing, though! I talked to Glimmer a lot when she and Bow were fighting. And she told me about what made her so upset with him.” She looked at Catra. “Remember the day after Valentine’s day? When we were talking about soulmates, and if you’d ever be with someone who isn’t your soulmate?”</p><p>Catra nodded.</p><p>“Bow said that he wouldn’t. That he’d only ever want to be with someone if he knew that they were his soulmate. And, well,” she shrugged. “Glimmer was upset about that. Because she thought that she and Bow had this connection, and she wanted to be in a relationship with him, but she hated the idea that he would…basically be willing to throw that all away just because their marks didn’t match.”</p><p>Catra hummed. “Good thing they didn’t have to worry about it.”</p><p>“But what if they did? What if they hadn’t been soulmates?” Adora frowned.</p><p>“I… I don’t know.” Catra shrugged. “Things were always complicated between them. I don’t think Bow would’ve been able to make that decision as easily as he thought he could when the chips were down.”</p><p>“Maybe. Still…” Adora shrugged, trailing off. “I think I’m starting to hate soulmates.”</p><p>Aside from the indistinct murmuring of the tv, there was silence for a few moments.</p><p>“…Why?”</p><p>Adora rolled onto her side, avoiding Catra’s gaze. “I just… don’t get where the Universe gets off jerking people around like that. You know? Shouldn’t people just be with who they…love? What’s the point of all the pre-destination?</p><p>Catra considered her next words carefully. “Well,” she said. “Glimmer and Bow seem like they love each other. They seemed like they were in love for a long time before they found out they were soulmates.” She looked down at Adora. “Maybe the Universe just gets it right sometimes.”</p><p>Adora frowned and crossed her arms. “Maybe.” She paused. “Do you feel that way about your soulmate?</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Do you think the Universe got you two right?”</p><p>Catra chewed on her cheek. Her tail coiled and uncoiled nervously at the foot of her bed. “I don’t know,” she finally said. “I hope so.”</p><p>Adora nodded absently. She sighed and sat up. Catra felt a twinge of disappointment.<em> No. Come back.</em></p><p>“This is a lot for a Friday night,” Adora joked, smiling wryly. “Oh! I almost forgot.” She grabbed her bag from behind Catra’s back and started rifling through it. She pulled out a plastic package—it was the same kind of chocolates she’d gotten Catra to try back in February. She ripped it open, popping one into her mouth.</p><p>“I remembered you liked these,” she said. “I figured I’d bring you some.”</p><p>Catra nodded. Her heart thrummed in her chest—she <em>remembered</em>, she was <em>thinking of Catra</em>, she wanted to get her something <em>nice</em>. Even if Catra still didn’t actually like them, it was the thought that counted, right?</p><p>Adora offered her the bag. Catra opened her mouth wide.</p><p>Adora raised an eyebrow but smiled and plucked one of the chocolates from the bag. She held it between her thumb and index finger, squeezing one of her eyes shut as she aimed. She threw it; it sailed through the air and landed neatly in Catra’s mouth.</p><p>Catra quickly swallowed it. “Not bad, princess,” she purred. “Hit me again.”</p><p>Adora rolled her eyes. She took another chocolate, aimed, and fired. It landed squarely on Catra’s cheek, slid off, and tumbled onto her sheets.</p><p>“Gross,” Catra said, picking it up. “These are all melted.”</p><p>“Only ‘cause you were sitting on my bag.”</p><p>“I didn’t know you had them in there,” Catra grumbled. She grabbed a tissue off her nightstand and wrapped the candy in it, wiping her fingers off for good measure.</p><p>She looked back at Adora. Adora burst out laughing.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You have chocolate all over your face!”</p><p>Catra growled and swiped a hand over her cheek. “Did I get it all?”</p><p>“Just— Just hand me a tissue and get over here.”</p><p>Catra flattened her ears to her head but did what Adora asked.</p><p>Adora shuffled forward on the bed, leaning over Catra. She gently took her chin in her hand, tilting Catra’s head to this side so she could wipe her cheek with the tissue. Catra swallowed. She could feel herself growing warm—she was thankful that her fur would hide any blush.</p><p>“There we go,” Adora said softly. She smiled at Catra—warm and tender and gentle, with her eyebrows scrunched in just the way that always made Catra melt. “All done.”</p><p>She said that, but she made no move to shift away. She and Catra locked eyes.</p><p>“You know,” Adora said. “I really did miss you. A lot.” Her hand migrated from Catra’s chin to her jaw. Her thumb swiped over her cheek, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear—just the same way that she had done almost a month ago, that morning when she’d thought Catra was asleep. Catra’s breath hitched. She felt dizzy—like a spell had fallen over the room.</p><p>She wasn’t sure who moved first. But the next thing she knew, Adora’s lips were on hers.</p><p>Adora kissed her firmly, with none of the gentleness of her previous touches. She moved forward to straddle Catra, bracketing her with her thighs and cupping her face in her hands. The tissue she’d used to clean Catra’s face lay forgotten on the sheets beneath them.</p><p>Catra didn’t mind the almost-bruising force of Adora’s lips—she fisted both her hands into her jacket to draw her even closer, leaning back, back, back, until she was flat on the bed and Adora was on top of her, her hands splayed on either side of Catra’s head. She kissed Adora desperately, both overjoyed and terrified out of her mind, afraid that if she stopped to breathe for even a second the spell would be broken.</p><p>Adora moved from her lips to her jaw. Her kisses slowed, and Catra writhed underneath her, pushing herself towards Adora’s mouth, trying to return to their previous frenetic pace. Adora chuckled against her skin, and Catra stilled, alight with nervous energy. Adora pulled back a little, her eyes dark—was she going to stop?</p><p>No; she quickly returned, although this time, her kisses were lower, dotting the sides of Catra’s neck. Catra hummed and looped her arms around Adora, drawing her closer.</p><p>Catra lost the next few minutes. She was caught in a satisfied daze, content to lie there and let Adora do whatever she wanted. Her hands roamed Adora’s sides, occasionally slipping underneath her white shirt and dancing over her feverish skin.</p><p>She was shocked out of her trance when Adora interrupted her slow, openmouthed kisses with a sharp bite. Catra whined and her tail shot up to coil around one of Adora’s thighs. Adora soothed the tender skin with her tongue for a few moments, then delivered another, harder bite below it. Catra keened, wrapped her legs around Adora, and bared her neck desperately in a plea for <em>more</em>. Her hands dove under the fabric of Adora’s shirt, eagerly roaming across her muscled back—</p><p>Catra’s mark <em>burned</em>.</p><p> She wasn’t sure if it was in her head or not. What she did know for sure, without a doubt, was that, in that moment, she was touching Adora’s soulmark. She tensed and craned her neck away from Adora’s lips. This couldn’t go any farther—not while she knew, but Adora was still in the dark. She moved to push Adora away, but, before she could, Adora sprang off of her.</p><p>They sat in silence on opposite ends of Catra’s bed.</p><p>Catra looked at Adora warily. She was as white as a sheet, her chest heaving wildly. Her eyes were wide.</p><p>Catra leaned towards her. “Adora—”</p><p>Adora leapt off the bed clumsily. She stumbled towards the door while Catra looked on, her stomach twisting in horror. God, what had she just done? Why did she just—fucking ruin everything she touched?</p><p>“I’m sorry—This—I made a mistake,” Adora ground out, her voice thick with emotion. “Catra—I—” She looked like she was on the verge of tears. Before Catra could say anything, she opened the door and slammed it behind her.</p><p>Catra stared at the door in shock. She felt like a tornado had just blown through her room—the way Adora had come in that night, turned her upside-down in an instant, and disappeared just as fast. She buried her head in hands and discovered they were trembling. Adora’s rejection echoed in her mind.</p><p>
  <em>Mistake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The kiss was a mistake.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Universe made a mistake. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Adora left, Catra cried.</p><p>It wasn’t pretty, glossy-tearstains-on-red-cheeks movie crying. It was ugly.</p><p>Catra couldn’t remember the last time she’d cried. She tried to fight it, desperately wrestling her body to just stay still, even as she was wracked with horrible, involuntary, choking sobs. The effort exhausted her. She wasn’t sure how long it took her to fall asleep, but she must have at some point, because the next thing she knew she was blinking in sunlight while Scorpia hovered anxiously over her.</p><p>Catra shot up in bed. She and Scorpia gazed at each other for several painfully silent moments.</p><p>“Uh, morning?” Scorpia finally said. “Sorry, did I wake you? I just got back from Perfuma’s, and I figured you’d already be up—Not that it’s bad or anything that you were sleeping, I mean, sometimes we’re all a bit tired, right? Nothing wrong with a, uh, catnap, as it were…” she trailed off, clicking her pincers together.</p><p>“What time is it?” Catra asked, wincing at the hoarse rasp of her voice.</p><p>Scorpia glanced at a clock. “2:18”</p><p>Catra groaned and flopped on her side. She frowned—she was lying on top of something. She twisted her head to get a look.</p><p>Adora’s bag. She must’ve forgotten it, being in such a hurry to get out of the room and all.</p><p>(To get away from Catra.)</p><p>Catra felt a lump rising in her throat. She rolled out of bed, barely avoiding running into Scorpia, and stumbled into their bathroom, stopping in front of their mirror.</p><p>Fantastic. She looked like shit. No wonder Scorpia was so worried.</p><p>She splashed some water on her face and smoothed her unkempt hair down to a state that was (hopefully) presentable. Meanwhile, in the other room, she could hear Scorpia puttering around, whistling in a show of feigned nonchalance.</p><p>When Catra emerged, Scorpia looked at her hesitantly, mouth partly open with a question on her tongue. “Catra,” she said. “Would you—Do you want Perfuma to come over today?”</p><p>Catra paused. She’d been preparing herself for an afternoon of staring blankly at her phone while numbly drinking her way through the half-empty bottle of vodka she had stashed in the freezer—not feelings talk. But, if Scorpia was offering…</p><p>“…Yes.” There was an innocent, child-like vulnerability in her answer.</p><p>“Great! She’s already on her way.”</p><p>…</p><p>Around thirty minutes later, Perfuma, Scorpia, and Catra were sat in a circle on the dorm floor. Catra avoided Perfuma’s discerning gaze, staring at the carpet in front of her, and crossed her arms tightly over her chest.</p><p>“Here you go,” Perfuma said, placing a mug of steaming tea in front of Catra. Catra picked it up and sniffed it, wrinkling her nose. She blew on it carefully and took a sip.</p><p>“Ugh,” she said. “The hell is this stuff?”</p><p>“It’s a soothing blend,” Perfuma responded. “I make it myself with the plants growing in the community gardens on the dorm roofs.”</p><p>“They let you do that?”</p><p>“They haven’t caught me yet. Now,” Perfuma smoothed out her clothing. “What’s new with you?”</p><p>“You mean why do I look like a cat who got run over by a bus in the pouring rain?” Catra joked with a small, sardonic grin.</p><p>Perfuma looked at her disappointedly. Catra’s face fell and she scratched the back of her neck.</p><p>“Sorry,” she said. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”</p><p>“You’re deflecting,” Perfuma responded. “I don’t know what’s going on with you yet, but it’s okay to be hurting, Catra. You don’t have to minimize the way you’re feeling.”</p><p>Catra nodded, ears flattened against her head. She took another sip of Perfuma’s tea, gagged, and set the mug down in front of her.</p><p>“Okay, let’s start over,” Perfuma said. “What’s wrong, Catra?”</p><p>“Adora and I kissed.”</p><p>Perfuma’s eyes widened. She and Scorpia exchanged a long look while Catra played with her tail, clenching her jaw.</p><p>“I don’t—I don’t really know what happened. We were just hanging out and then, next thing I knew—” She waved her hand vaguely. “We were kissing.”</p><p>“Did you two talk about it?”</p><p>Catra shook her head. She swallowed. “I wanted to talk about it—about everything. I was gonna tell her about the whole soulmate thing, but then…” She took a deep breath. “She bolted. Didn’t even grab her bag before she left.” Catra gestured at her bed, where the offending item was still lying. “She said it was a mistake.”</p><p>
  <em>Mistake.</em>
</p><p>Catra’s breath hitched as the word echoed in her head. She ran a hand through her messy hair, bowing her head to hide the wetness in her eyes.</p><p>Perfuma made a low, sympathetic sound in the back of her throat. “I’m sorry, Catra,” she said. “That must’ve been hard to hear.”</p><p>“Not really,” Catra replied, doing her best to keep her voice steady. “I always knew it would go like this.”</p><p>“‘It’? What’s ‘it’, Catra?”</p><p>Catra threw up her hands. “I don’t know, meeting my soulmate? My life? I just, I don’t <em>get </em>good things, I don’t deser—” She cut herself off, tail lashing. She felt the weight of Scorpia and Perfuma’s worried gazes on her. “I saw it coming,” she finally said. “I knew that things wouldn’t work out with Adora.” A grim smile tugged at her lips, even as her eyes burned with unshed tears. “Even Destiny or Fate or whatever wouldn’t be able to find someone who would love me.” She said it softly, more to herself than anyone else.</p><p>“That’s not true!”</p><p>Catra’s eyes shot up. It wasn’t Perfuma who had just spoken—it was Scorpia.</p><p>Scorpia’s gaze burned into Catra’s. “That’s not true,” she repeated. “Forget about Adora for a second. Do you really think you don’t have people who love you?”</p><p>Catra blinked. “I—”</p><p>“—Cause if you think that, you’re wrong,” Scorpia continued. “I love you. You’re my best friend, and you’ve always been there for me. Even when you won’t admit that you care. And I know I’ve been spending more time with Perfuma lately, and we haven’t hung out as much as we used to back at Weaver’s, and I’m sorry about that, but—” She paused for a breath. “—I love you, Wildcat. And I always will. And nobody—not Fate or Destiny or whoever you’re worried about—nobody had to tell me to do that. I just do. Because you’re you. Because you’re Catra.”</p><p>Catra dug her claws into the palms of her hands. The heat in Scorpia’s gaze was almost too much to bear, but somehow, she couldn’t look away from her roommate’s earnest expression.</p><p>“And I’m not the only one!” Scorpia continued. “Perfuma loves you. Bow loves you. Glimmer loves you. And it’s not about whether or not you deserve it—I don’t even know what that would mean. It’s just how it is.” She reached over and poked Catra lightly in her side with one of her pincers. “So you better get used to it.”</p><p>Catra let out a shaky laugh. She sniffled and scrubbed a hand over her face. She wanted to thank Scorpia, but she didn’t trust herself to talk without bursting into tears.</p><p>“…Can I hug you?”</p><p>Catra nodded. She let herself be pulled into Scorpia’s firm embrace, avoiding her spikes and nestling her face into the soft, safe junction of Scorpia’s neck.</p><p>After a minute or so, Scorpia’s grip relaxed and Catra slipped away, gently curling her tail around Scorpia’s wrist as she settled back into her seat.</p><p>“Scorpia’s right,” Perfuma said. “We all care about you…and Adora does too.”</p><p>Catra looked over at her.</p><p>“Remember that time we went bowling a couple months ago? At the beginning of the semester?”</p><p>Catra nodded.</p><p>“I told you I wanted Adora to help you so I could see how you acted around her,” Perfuma said. “And, that was true. But that’s not the only reason I wanted her to help you. I wanted to watch how she acted around you, too.”</p><p>Catra raised her eyebrows. “And?” she asked, croaky and breathless.</p><p>“Adora was smitten with you, Catra. And I don’t know what happened between now and then, or how she feels after two months, but… I don’t think it’s a black–and-white as you think it is, Catra. I bet she still cares about you, in one way or another. And I hope that you guys can work through whatever this is and stay in each other’s lives. Romantically or otherwise. Because you two are good for each other.”</p><p>Catra chewed on one of her claws, swallowing heavily around the lump in her throat. “I need to talk to Adora,” she finally said.</p><p>…</p><p>
  <em>hey</em>
</p><p>
  <em>you left your bag here last night</em>
</p><p>Catra sighed and pressed the heel of one of her palms against her eye. No. No making up excuses to see her. Be direct.</p><p>
  <em>Can we talk?</em>
</p><p>Catra paced her room while she waited for a response. Scorpia and Perfuma had left a few minutes earlier, at her request—obviously she didn’t want anyone around for the conversation she needed to have with Adora. She wasn’t sure what she was planning on doing if Adora didn’t text her back.</p><p>Deep down, Catra had an unshakeable belief that she would. That was just the kind of person Adora was.</p><p>Still, she was nervous. She considered the vodka again—No. She and Adora had had one too many important conversations where one of them was drunk, or at least, Not Sober.</p><p>Heart pounding, Catra sat down at her desk and flipped open her sketchbook. She started drawing. Well, not drawing so much as making long, dark, jagged scribbles all over the page, channeling her energy into the violent motions of her arm.</p><p>Would she regret wasting a page of nice paper later? Probably. But, right now, the wild scribbling sapped the tension from her body, relieving the pressure in her chest and freeing up her breathing.</p><p>Catra’s phone buzzed. She practically threw her pencil across the room to reach for it.</p><p>It was Adora (thank God.)</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>ok</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra shifted in her chair, her fangs digging painfully into her lower lip.</p><p>
  <em>When do you want to come over? </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>ill be over in 15</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Catra’s heart clenched. She shot out of her chair and started digging through her dresser for clothes—she’d never bothered changing out of what she’d been wearing last night. She didn’t want Adora to notice and worry about her, which, of course she would, because, again—that was just the kind of person Adora was.</p><p>Fifteen minutes later, on the dot, a knock sounded from Catra’s door. She sucked air through her teeth, sheathing and unsheathing her claws. She could do this. <em>She could do this.</em></p><p>She opened the door.</p><p>Adora was standing outside, but, well—it wasn’t<em> her</em> Adora. Not her passionate, determined Adora who held her head high. This Adora was resigned and small and looked like she’d rather be anywhere other than here. She gazed at Catra with big, baleful eyes.</p><p>Catra cleared her throat. “Uh, hi.” She stepped out of the doorframe. “Come in.”</p><p>Adora slunk into the room like a beaten puppy, eyes darting around like she expected to be thrown out at any moment.</p><p>Catra walked over to her bed and picked up Adora’s bag. “Here,” she said, thrusting it towards her. Adora took it gingerly from Catra’s hands.</p><p>The two of them stood in absolute silence. Catra’s eyes roamed Adora’s face looking for…something. She wasn’t quite sure what. Meanwhile, Adora avoided Catra’s gaze, looking anywhere else—the carpet, the ceiling, the desk behind them.</p><p>Catra took a deep breath. “Adora…”</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Catra furrowed her brow. “Huh?”</p><p>Adora’s lip was quivering. She finally made eye contact with Catra. “I’m so sorry, Catra.”</p><p>“…About the kiss?”</p><p>Adora nodded. Catra’s chest squeezed painfully at the broken expression on her face.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” she soothed. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”</p><p>“But I—I shouldn’t have—” Adora said, tears welling up in her eyes. “It was wrong for me to do that to you.”</p><p>“To me?” Catra echoed. “I kissed you back.”</p><p>“Still,” Adora said, shaking her head. “I knew that you’d found your soulmate, and I knew that things were going well with you guys. And I disrespected that by kissing you and putting you in that situation. So… I’m sorry.” Her voice got quieter and quieter as she spoke, ending in a whisper.</p><p>Catra blinked, her pulse roaring in her ears. “My soulmate?”</p><p>Adora stared blankly at the floor.</p><p>“Is that why you left last night?” she asked, her voice quavering. “Because you were thinking about my soulmate?”</p><p>Adora nodded.</p><p>Catra took a step back. She hesitated. “I have something I need to show you,” she finally said. She walked over to her dresser and rifled through the drawer she kept her drawings in with trembling hands.</p><p>Bingo.</p><p>She took a deep breath and approached Adora, pushing the piece of paper into one of her hands. “Here.”</p><p>Adora furrowed her brow. Her eyes darted between Catra and the drawing. “My mark?”</p><p>“Our mark.”</p><p>With two words, the air was sucked out of the room.</p><p>Catra shifted on her feet. Adora opened and closed her mouth, eyes wide.</p><p>“Our—our mark?” Her voice was strangled and low. “You’re saying…”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Adora took a deep breath. She ducked her head and laced her fingers around her neck.</p><p>Catra gazed at her carefully. Her instincts were screaming at her to get out of there, to run, before Adora rejected her again, but she knew she couldn’t. She needed to stand her ground. (Besides, run to where, exactly? This was her room.)</p><p>Finally, Adora looked up at Catra with a pleading, almost disbelieving expression. “Can I see it?"</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Your mark,” Adora ground out. “Please, Catra, I need—I want to see it.”</p><p>Catra swallowed, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”</p><p>She turned away from Adora, her fur bristling. She shucked her leather jacket, throwing it into one of the room’s far corners, then reached for the hem of her t-shirt. Carefully, hesitantly, she pulled it over her head and tossed it, too, shivering as the dorm’s cool air hit her exposed back.</p><p>Behind her, she heard Adora suck in a breath.</p><p>Heart pounding in her throat, Catra listened as Adora put down her bag and stepped forward once, twice, three times, coming to stand just inches away. She could hear Adora’s ragged inhales and exhales, could feel the puffs of her breath against her neck. Her tail swayed back and forth nervously.</p><p>Suddenly, there was a warm touch between her shoulder blades—right where the hilt of the sword would be. A jolt of electricity shot up Catra’s spine. She and Adora gasped in unison.</p><p>“Catra…”</p><p>Catra squeezed her eyes shut. She waited for tears, for yelling, for Adora to curse her out and storm out the room.</p><p>None of it came.</p><p>Instead, she was wheeled around and pulled into a bone-breaking embrace. She stiffed in shock as Adora buried her face into the crook of her neck, trembling. Her head spun with confusion. What was happening? Eventually, though, she softened, and brought her arms up to rub Adora’s back.</p><p>For a few minutes, they held each other in silence. The rest of the world faded into the background—for Catra, there was just Adora. The warmth of Adora against her bare torso; the sensation of Adora slowly rocking them back and forth; the familiar scent of Adora’s shampoo overwhelming Catra’s sensitive nose.</p><p>“You’re such an idiot,” Adora said.</p><p>Catra chuckled wetly. “Yeah. I know.”</p><p>“No, you don’t.” Adora pulled back slightly, keeping her arms around Catra, her hands locked together at the small of her back. “You have no idea. You don’t know how long I—” she choked on her words and re-tightened her grip on Catra, crushing her against her chest.</p><p>“I thought the Universe hated me,” she said, her voice a muffled rumble against Catra. “For letting me meet you, and get to know you, when from the start, I knew—or, I thought I knew—that you were meant for somebody else.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Catra whispered. “I should’ve told you in the beginning.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Adora said. “You should’ve.” She ran her hand up and down the length of Catra’s back; a comfortable warmth was left in the wake of her touch. “Thank you for telling me now.”</p><p>Catra purred and twined her tail around Adora’s waist. “That feels nice.”</p><p>She felt Adora smile against her bare skin. “For me, too.”</p><p>Finally, the two of them relaxed their embrace, stepping back to look each other in the eyes.</p><p>“What happens now?” Adora asked. “Like, what are we?”</p><p>“Whatever we want,” Catra replied. “We don’t have to jump in like Bow and Sparkles, or Scorpia and Perfuma. We could be like them. Or we could just, I don’t know, go on a couple of dates and feel it out? Or we could just stay friends. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”</p><p>Adora searched Catra’s gaze. She sighed. “I just don’t want it to be like, like, we <em>have</em> to be together just because we’re soulmates. And please don’t feel pressured to be with me or something because of it, I understand if you don’t want—”</p><p>“—Adora,” Catra cut in. “Can I tell you something?”</p><p>Adora’s eyebrows crinkled. She nodded.</p><p>Catra took a deep breath. “Adora, for the longest time, I didn’t want to find my soulmate. I was scared of the kind of person they’d be, who the Universe would stick someone like me with. And I think was even more scared of how they’d react to getting stuck with me.” She smiled wryly. “That’s why I didn’t tell you back then. I knew it was wrong to keep it from you; I was just…afraid. But then I started talking to you, and I met you, and you were so incredible…I just want you to know that I didn’t fall in love with you because you’re my soulmate, Adora—if anything, I fell in love with you in spite of it.”</p><p>Adora blinked at her. “You love me?”</p><p>Catra flushed, her tail sticking straight up in the air. “Uh…” She gulped. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”</p><p>“Wow…” Adora breathed, and then smiled dopily at her. “That’s crazy.”</p><p>Catra raised an eyebrow at her. “Is it really that hard to believe? Maybe sometimes, the Universe just gets it right, princess.” She flicked her tail under Adora’s chin teasingly.</p><p>“I guess…” Adora’s tone softened into something more vulnerable. She looked at Catra imploringly. “How do we know, though? That the Universe got it right?”</p><p>“Well…” Catra said, taking one of Adora’s hands in hers. “Maybe we won’t ever know for sure. But we can take it day-by-day. How does that sound?”</p><p>Adora glanced between Catra’s face and their conjoined hands. “Sounds like a plan.”</p><p>“Cool.” Catra responded, grinning.</p><p>“Cool.”</p><p>“So, how do you want to do this? Personally, it might be a tough adjustment if you want me to become as sappy as Sparkles is with Arrow Boy overnight.”</p><p>Adora laughed and hummed thoughtfully. “Take it slow? Go on a date with me?”</p><p>“Great.”</p><p>The two of them beamed at each other. Adora brought her other hand up to clasp Catra’s, rubbing her thumb over Catra’s soft knuckles.</p><p>After a few beats of quiet, Adora piped up. “Um, even if we’re taking it slow, can I kiss you again? Because I’ve been wanting to do that since you winked at me when we were playing horseshoe. Also, I love you too, and I’m not just saying that ‘cause you said it or anything, I really do mean—"</p><p>“—Yes, Adora, you can kiss me,” Catra said, her heart racing at Adora’s confession. “You can kiss me as much as you’d like.”</p><p>And Adora did.</p><p>Many, many times.</p><p>…</p><p>“Hey, is that whole, like, warm-heat-electricity-feeling thing with our marks normal? Because I’ve never heard of that happening before with soulmates.”</p><p>“I don’t know, princess. Maybe the sword’s just magic or something.”</p><p>…</p><p>So, Catra had never wanted to find her soulmate. And, in the end, it didn’t really matter that she had. What mattered was that she’d found Adora—and she was looking forward to every minute of the days they’d have together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AND SCENE!</p><p>Wow, here we are, a month later, and it's kinda bittersweet to finish the story. This is my first multichap fic (that I've finished teehee) and it's definitely been a unique, fun challenge that's really pushed my creative limits! I hope that it's been a good, fun, coherent read throughout and that you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.</p><p>I've written catradora fic before, and I probably will again, but I think that I'm particularly proud of this piece. It started as an outline in my mind that I figured I'd flesh out into a 8k-10k oneshot, and it turned into...this 30k thing. 30k isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but I'm really glad I made the decision to lengthen the story because I think it let me explore things in a lot more depth. </p><p>Anyways, I hope everyone reading this is doing well and that the story has brought you some smiles in this hell of a year! Have a good day :)</p>
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